Aliens: Finally a Weapon We Can Use

As I have reported earlier aliens spies are here and I am so happy to report American ingenuity has found a purpose for them. What purpose, what aliens spies; you ask? Well, let me explain the situation here.

A few of my followers have been informed about these alien spies and also realize there is no weapon to battle their infiltration of your home. If you are one of the few whom have not been so informed, please take this opportunity to go back and read my post on aliens. If you are one of those followers who have been educated start jumping for joy.

With the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico now going strong it appears these alien spies can serve a useful purpose and actually aid with the clean-up effort. As misguided as it may be these alien spies think oil makes them look more human and even acquired a taste for it.

As to American ingenuity, someone discovered that alien spies when encapsulated in nylon hose would collect oil. I’m not sure as to how the discovery actually came about but I can only assume. I picture it as some poor woman who had tried to corral those aliens in her nylons only to have her husband use them in the garage. I would really like to know why her choose was nylon hose? But I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth, I still have a garbage bag full of nylons from my aunts’ house.

Exactly how and why these alien spies thought oil made them look human is another matter. I can only report that their electrical interference always changed my television channel to a station that was either playing “Andy Griffith” or “The Dukes of Hazard.” They must have fixated on Gomer and Cooter, which also accounts for them liking the taste of oil as well.

This is the exciting part; there is actually a web site that does address this issue. Should you be a furry friend or salon owner there is a place to donate those alien disguises before they get their hands on them. If you just have a fetish for nulyon hose and have realized if you do not thin the collection you will soon appear on a “Hoarders” episode, there is a place.

Yes, I have added some pun to this post but the cause is a just one. If we continue to require that our oceans be drilled in, then the least we can do is donate our trash. As a responsible alien fighter please visit: http://www.matteroftrust.org/ for more information regarding donations and may the force be with you.

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