Something happened on my way to bed last night. Somewhere along the way my mental wires got crossed and I totally confused two entirely different stories. Have you ever done that? Have you ever been watching and listening to something only to get the words and pictures messed up?
Last night as I readied the house for nightly shut down and prepped the kitchen for the morning to come I switched the TV to a news channel. I just wanted my nightly fix before I went to bed but what I got almost kept me up all night.
I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news but it seems BP has failed another attempt to stop the oil leak. I guess this means they are back to the other two back up ideas, siphoning and clogging this so-called leak. Exactly how are they planning to do this and what are the future implications?
First let me start by explaining this is neither a leak, nor spill. A leak is what I have in my bathroom sink where the drip, drip sound keeps me awake. A spill is something a kid does when trying to run with a glass of juice. As you see neither apply here, so what about the siphoning and clogging theories?
As I have reported earlier aliens spies are here and I am so happy to report American ingenuity has found a purpose for them. What purpose, what aliens spies; you ask? Well, let me explain the situation here.
A few of my followers have been informed about these alien spies and also realize there is no weapon to battle their infiltration of your home. If you are one of the few whom have not been so informed, please take this opportunity to go back and read my post on aliens. If you are one of those followers who have been educated start jumping for joy.
Saturday as I watched the Kentucky Derby at home alone, no fan fair, no parties, just another stormy Saturday afternoon. I settled in to watch all the media coverage and it only made me wonder, what is the real attraction here? Could it truly be a horse racing around an oval track that captures our interest? Perhaps the real reason is that we have more in common with those horses than we dare to imagine.
Think about it. Thoroughbred horses are breed to race, trained to perform, sent to a breeding facility and then hopefully will retire on some great bluegrass farm in Kentucky. Should they fail to perform, all sorts of gimmicks are employed and when that fails they end up at some rescue facility.
Have you heard? There is a new Presidential appointed commission whose task is to recommend ways to lower the deficit. Though this commission is newly formed I fear it has already gotten of course. I must say it is hard to stay on course when you are allowed to spend the first four hours of the workday viewing porn.
In an individual effort to make up for our commissions lost time each morning I’d like to submit the following list of recommended cost cutting measures. Commissioners feel free to use this as cheat sheet; I will not be offended if you do not mention my name.
Illegal immigrants please take note. Regardless of what you have been told, regardless of what propaganda you have been handed, this is not the land of opportunity. You have been misled and I fear this disillusion will only cause undo stress to the already stressful journey you took to get here. Please let me enlighten you on the real state of our union.
No, you may not be allowed to come here and enjoy the fruits of your laborious trades. Yes, there are agriculture jobs available but you must be able to relocate and frequently. We seemed to have made the planet mad and are experiencing numerous natural disasters that will require you to locate where ever the crops are currently not destroyed. No, a relocation allowance is not provided and career advancement is limited since corporate agriculture has purchased most of the family farms.
What exactly is going on in the state of Tennessee? No, I am not talking about the woman and the Russian boy. I’m talking about what appears to be a beer epidemic. Apparently when the weather here turned warm the state of Tennessee lost its ability to limit its beer consumption and not commit crimes.
Just the other day a citizen of the fine state was arrested for DUI while driving a lawn mower down the road. Upon being arrested for DUI the mowerist (invented title meaning: drunk redneck on mower) admitted to having few beers but explained he was just going down the road to borrow some fishing poles. Problem is the owner of the fishing poles reported them stolen, so I guess beer impairs your ability to lie as well. Only in the south do you get drunk and hop on your mower to run an errand.
Viagra for women may soon be on a drug store shelf near you. A pharmaceutical division of Pfizer believes they have found the substance that stimulates a woman’s sexual arousal. While this drug is still in the research phase I’d like to point out some of the obvious components that should be included to this so-called pill.
The male version of this drug does not provide any form of vision impairment, men are already somewhat blind when it comes to sex and it was not required. Woman on the other hand are not so blind and therefore this definitely dictates further consideration. In fact I would like to pose that a hallucinogenic be included. This would at least ensure a fighting chance for the approaching male. The disclaimer would read: “many things may appear better while taking this drug, alcohol does intensify this affect.”
There is more to the story than a young, mild autistic girl being found safe in a Florida swamp. The story began with a nature walk and ended with an entire community searching and praying for what eventually became a happy ending. Her rescuer praised the Lord for leading him to her and his prayers were answered but there is so much more here.
Let us look beneath the mere act of the simple nature walk. To you and I that simple walk would have ended at the swamps edge, we would have feared the unknown but not Nadia. This is where we find the underlying message to this entire ordeal.
Usually when I select a topic to blog about it is an event or random comment that strikes a nerve or an emotion from within. Today however as I scanned the web a disturbing pattern started to emerge, there were way too many nerves being hit upon. For this reason I have chosen to provide you with my synopsis of what struck my nerves this morning.
Let us start with the passing of Dixie Carter, the woman who made it fashionable to be a southern woman. She showed the world that southern woman could have a hissy fit, politely put you in your place, point out exactly why you were wrong, and all the while look oh so elegant doing it. She allowed us to see humor in the southern ways while her sister Susanne showed us pigs could be pets. In honor of Julia Sugarbaker I will find a plumber with the stereotypical low riding pair of pants, rear crack fully exposed and decorate it with a bouquet of daisies.
If you have not heard of this case then lift the rock up you are living under and crawl out. This poor girl was stalked, mentally tortured and lived in fear and not one person lifted a finger to help her. Now everyone wants to cry foul and enact a law to prevent such events from occurring in the future. Can we really litigate our children into becoming civil human beings?
I realize we live in a different time than that of when I was in high school and that I lived in a different time from that of my mother but do we really believe an enacted law will curb this behavior? Bullying has gone on for generations and each generation has overcome it in their way but each preceding generation had the necessary social skills to achieve such a victory. Schools were a place to educate, grow, nurture and learn social interaction, not a place of social status, adult daycare and social networking. With that statement I pose the question; “where was the rest of the students while this severe bullying was going on?
President Obama’s Nuclear Limitation Policy has drawn criticism from both sides of the fence and after reading the synopsis I can see why. In short it states that should you attack us with any thing other than nuclear weapons we won’t nuke you; we will only use nukes in extreme circumstances but we define extreme and finally we will not further our nuclear aerosol. The United States will keep in place those warheads it has and oh yeah, this only applies to those nations that have signed the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty. Do you see a problem yet?
Let us look at this from how the average, common sense using American does. Should you attack us with a biological weapon our first response is not “nuke them!” Our first response would be how could we get the antidote? Which we already know over government does not have a stockpile of, nor do they provide us with education on how to treat, contain and eliminate the spread of such an attack, that information is privileged. Should you attack us with a chemical weapon, all of the above still applies. However.
There are two words I have heard repeatedly in the last several months that I definitely have a problem with how they are being used. “What are those two words,” I hear you asking. Well, let me tell you; they are the words “Stimulus” and “Reform.” I do not know what lazy person in Washington just picked these words out of the air but they should have at least looked up the definition of the words before they applied them to government programs that neither stimulate nor reform.
When you look at the word stimulus it simply means to stimulate. Following the word path and look up stimulate you will find the definition as to cause a reaction in the body, to motivate or encourage. I can honestly say I think they did use the word correctly; they just did not obtain the results they intended. In fact, most Americans had a reaction in their bodies; oh, it sparked motivation and down right encouraged the nation to respond to the first two parts of the definition.
Fanatic social groups have been around for as long as this country has been here but this new one takes the cake. Calling them selves “Hutaree” or god warriors they believe the end of the world is here and that there is a real need to prepare. Doesn’t that seem like an oxymoron to you or is it just I?
If it were the end of the world do we really need to prepare and didn’t we wait a little to long? I guess what I really should be asking is, are we going to truly need AK-47’s in the afterlife? If so I’ve been left behind, I merely own a pump shotgun and I now fear I’ll be out gunned when I get there. Not to mention I have no concept of how to make a homemade bomb; nor would I want to learn. I’m way to accident prone to be playing with the mixing of toxic chemicals. I do however, know how to make a homemade blowtorch. Again, it was an accident I had while visiting a friend. Never smoke around aerosol hair spray can, that’s all I’m saying.
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