Coney Island Hotdog Contest: Hum?

I have one more day left to the holiday weekend, what will I do? Before I embark on some un-planned outing I have to ask you a question. Do you know who won the hotdog-eating contest? Have you ever seen one of these events?

I personally have not attended such an event but I have seen the results on television. Yesterday as I watched the proud winner raise his trophy belt and lift his bottle of pepto I thought how wrong this was on so many levels.

Exactly where did the idea of stuffing as many tube shaped, unhealthy, meat products down your throat in 5 minutes, come from and why? Did it start as a dare or was it a marketing ploy to attract children? Could this be another one of those guy things?

Read More

Read more...

Tennessee: You Have a Beer Problem

What exactly is going on in the state of Tennessee? No, I am not talking about the woman and the Russian boy. I’m talking about what appears to be a beer epidemic. Apparently when the weather here turned warm the state of Tennessee lost its ability to limit its beer consumption and not commit crimes.

Just the other day a citizen of the fine state was arrested for DUI while driving a lawn mower down the road. Upon being arrested for DUI the mowerist (invented title meaning: drunk redneck on mower) admitted to having few beers but explained he was just going down the road to borrow some fishing poles. Problem is the owner of the fishing poles reported them stolen, so I guess beer impairs your ability to lie as well. Only in the south do you get drunk and hop on your mower to run an errand.

Read More

Read more...

Virginia Nude: Parade or Fashion Show?

Virginia man acquitted of indecent exposure; did you hear about this? Six months ago this man was arrested because in his own home he felt the urge to parade around naked, problem was two women had pulled a seat for the parade, one with child in tow and did not rate his display as favorable. The entire case was based on intent to expose not the right to bare arms in ones own home.

While both women felt this met the definition of an emergency and dialed 911 only one lifted a pre-selected finger to give the gentleman the lowest of ratings. Makes you wonder what did they really expect looking in their neighbor’s house so early in the morning? This poor man has spent the last six months of his life, not to mention the money, to clear his name, all because two women choose to peek in. The entire article reminded me so much of my great aunt and her knowledge of the exact happenings of her surroundings it made me laugh.

Read More

Read more...

North Dakota and The Moon

Okay, I just read two news articles that I must say sent cold chills up my spine. We all have heard about the flooding occurring on the Red River in North Dakota and we all have heard of the moon. But did you hear FEMA is heading to North Dakota? Even more strange have you heard a group of California Preservations want to preserve the moon?

The idea of FEMA heading to North Dakota sends cold chills up my spine just like a used car salesman does when I visit a car lot. I lost all respect for the agency right after Katrina hit and it has done little to regain that respect. My fear is the used car salesman mentality FEMA sometimes projects.

Read More

Read more...

Black Hole Found in U.S.

Astronomers yesterday confirmed the report of a black hole located directly within the United States. At a press conference held in the middle of the night, Dr. B. Kidding stated the presence of such an astrological abnormality did exist.

It was stated at this press conference that the scientists had known about the abnormality for some time now. In the early 1970’s the observatory had started to notice large volumes of American wealth being drawn closer to the edge of the black hole; in the early 1990’s the observatory implemented around the clock observation, thus leading to the late night press conference.

When asked why the observatory felt the need now to disclose such an event, Dr. Kidding responded with the following statement:

“It has come to our attention that the black hole we have been closely monitoring for the past 3 centuries has reached a point of maximum suck effect. It has reached a point where in its present location it will suck the country right down with it. Though at this point in time I am not at liberty to disclose the exact location, it is apparent to us that this black hole has taken aim on life as we know it.”

”We have witnessed a huge increase in its appetite for our wealth, it seems to grow larger and stronger with every dollar it sucks in and it shows no sign of slowing. It appears to have a hypnotic effect on those who get to close to the edge and transfers a feeling of “larger than life” to those who reach its outer rim. It is this reason we feel it to be a danger to American life as we know it and have made public our findings.”

He went on to state that those of prominence stature seem to be immune to the effects of this abnormality and with that Dr. Kidding was bombarded with a flurry of questions, of which two he responded. The black hole was somewhere over the northeast and the last object observed being sucked into its depths was a Senator from Kentucky that would not shut up and sit down.

Technorati Tags: Black Hole,Commentary,Satire,Jules,Rainbow

Disclaimer: In NO way are the people and events in this satire real or true. This a personal, fictional, humorous story meant to bring a smile and nothing else.

Read more...

Appearance and Weird News

     As most of you can tell the appearance of the blog has changed. In an effort to continue to grow and stay in touch with technology I keep pushing myself to try new things; thus the new look. I will be changing some of the visual content on occasion to keep it fresh and I hope you enjoy it .
     Now for some weird news of the day. I found this headline on the weird news section of Kentucky.com, must have been some vindictive, inventive woman; you go girl!
Wife allegedly changes wires on saw to shock hubby
I just thought it funny she elected to use power tools as her revenge. What a way to get a guy back; give him a fear of power tools.
     Then there was this one: Cops: Pa. man steals $50, flees on Walmart scooter - Weird News - Kentucky.com
I don't know about you but I've never been able to find a scooter there that even had a charge, let alone think of using it as my get away vehicle. He must have really needed the $50.00. Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Enough weirdness for one day. Until later.

Read more...