Illegal Immigrant’s: Travel Advisory

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Illegal immigrants please take note. Regardless of what you have been told, regardless of what propaganda you have been handed, this is not the land of opportunity. You have been misled and I fear this disillusion will only cause undo stress to the already stressful journey you took to get here. Please let me enlighten you on the real state of our union.

No, you may not be allowed to come here and enjoy the fruits of your laborious trades. Yes, there are agriculture jobs available but you must be able to relocate and frequently. We seemed to have made the planet mad and are experiencing numerous natural disasters that will require you to locate where ever the crops are currently not destroyed. No, a relocation allowance is not provided and career advancement is limited since corporate agriculture has purchased most of the family farms.

Should you have masonry skills, you might wish to explore a nation that is not in recession. The construction industry hit the toilet about a year and a half ago and shows no sigh of improving. Due to this same recession even us legal Americans are having trouble getting government subsidies therefore handouts are on a first come first serve basis.

There also has been an influx's in the foreclosure rate in this country and I wish to point out affordable housing has become a hot commodity. Americans have already claimed most of the habitable hillsides and freeway overpasses and space is very limited. Should you find a constructed abode that you can afford and has the required space for your entourage most likely it will not have heat and air. The illegal immigrates before you stole the cooper lines.

Most importantly I want to point out the problems with our food sources. Most of the vegetables contain salmonella due to the corporate agriculture farms cutting costs and should be avoided. The water here has been treated with chemicals and will require your body to get acclimated. Thus, make sure your accommodations have adequate toilet facilities.

Should you be so lucky as to find employment and wish to take your family out to McDonald’s for a treat, it will not taste the same. Since your country realizes we have lower health standards the beef you are use to has no after taste; ours does. Do not be alarmed, we have been eating it for years but stay away from metal detectors and should you grow a third eye, merely embrace your new vision.

While this is not an all-inclusive list of what you have to look forward to in your new nation, it is a sampling of the big issues. Should you run into any situation that you feel unjust or not as described in the travel brochure,  refrain from contacting the local authorities. Please contact your travel agent for the appropriate refund.



I don't notice them leaving anything when we have Hispanic dinners at church so they must be adjusting to our different foods.

April 27, 2010 at 10:16 PM  
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