Senator McConnell and I Understand the Tea Party Now

Monday, April 12, 2010

Senator Mitch McConnell does respond to emails. He does want to support unemployment benefit extensions, he does appreciate our comments and yes, he will even thank you for them but he will not go much further. I say all this because I received such a letter; I voiced my opinion via email to the Senator and got in return a six-paragraph campaign ad.

Let me digress and explain that I had during the filibuster regarding the extension of unemployment benefits sent emails to Kentucky Senators, Bunning and McConnell. Basically what I sent them electronically was the proverbial southern hissy fit, but let me condense the six paragraphs I received in return.

First paragraph: easy, thank you for writing. Second paragraph: a statistical account of the current unemployment rates in my state and he knows we are tightening our belts, and politicians are advocating too much spending. Third paragraph: the history of where unemployment money comes from and goes to. Fourth paragraph: the Senate had this debate, he support extending benefits, did not want to burden future generations, Bunning proposed an amendment that would have offset the cost of the bill, reduced the budget and he voted for it. He did not bother to explain this hair brain idea and how exactly it would have worked. Fifth paragraph: Sorry we lost. Last paragraph: another thank you, my views are winning the race to front of his limited thought process, I will keep debating, and please write again.

Now let me give you my impressions as I read each of these paragraphs. The first paragraph: (yes I was polite) you are welcome but I thought this my civic duty?

The second paragraph left me a little confused. I did not need statistics; I have to visit the unemployment office and am well aware of the limited parking. Tightening my belt? I cannot afford a belt, I’m using the yellow plastic band from the last hefty bag I had. Politicians advocating spending, well I guess that must be new concept to him. Somebody move his chair closer to the gavel, maybe then he would not nap as much.

Third paragraph: Simple thought, ugh, government history. But hey I know the answer to this one, after all at one point I had a job. I remember that deduction column on my pay stub but I guess since I’m from Kentucky he felt the need to explain it again to this hillbilly.

Fourth paragraph: what he really is saying, “I guess as you can tell by the date you received this letter I’ve made my decision and your opinion does not matter. Since your opinion does not matter you need no further explanation regarding the bill I did vote on.” I guess in Kentucky it is ethical to blow off your constitutes.

Fifth paragraph: A lass we lost, I made the wrong choice, I really want to do something but I’m just not sure what yet. Wonder how long his decision will take and if the mental picture of this crazy, loud mouth, white woman is still popping up to the front of his brain? If it is I’d like to update that profile picture with a more terrifying one.

The sixth paragraph went something like this; Senator, I do not want a debate. Oh, now I’m on your mind again. Yes, you can bet I’ll write again, I just have to wait until my mule re-powers my laptop battery.

Now I understand the tea party movement. All this time I thought it was a group for less government, I now realize it is just a group of Senate writers whom decided to sit around sipping bourbon, laced tea while they were waiting on their Senators response.

Going UP