Don't Ask, Don't Tell: My Version

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

We all know about the military policy of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” but have you ever thought of it on a personal level? Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had a personal “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy. Well, it got me to thinking and I have decided to invoke my own “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy.

Don’t ask me why I have a notebook instead of a to-do list taped to my refrigerator and I will not lie to you about needing room for larger print and pictures. It has nothing to do with procrastinating and now a notebook is required to hold the to-do list.

Don’t ask
me about the status of my house cleaning and laundry so I will not have to lie about how the maid broke her leg. Because we all know I’m unemployed and cannot afford a maid.

Don’t tell me how organized you are and that you don’t need a maid because I will politely tell you, “I knew there was something about you I did not like.”

Don’t ask me about what I am having for breakfast, lunch or dinner because I would have to explain the chef found out the maid broke her leg and went on vacation.

Don’t ask me about the status of my garden pond because I would have to explain how I found out about my loss of muscle tone. Then I would have to lie and tell you the immigrant workers got stopped in Arizona so the project is on hold.

Don’t tell me about the new workout video you found because I will lie to you and say, “I heard from the immigrant workers, it was a miss understanding, they will be here tomorrow.”

Don’t ask we why I have canoe in my backyard and then ask me if I have ever used it? This will lead to a comment about grand ideas and yes I have used it. Once I turned it over and a friend, all the dogs and me got in, while it was in the backyard.

Don’t tell me you have not had grand ideas that in all truth never made it out of your backyard, because I will tell you to come out of the backyard and fess up.

So how about it, do you need a personal “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” policy? Can you think of anything you just would love for people not ask or comment about?

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