Saturday, October 30, 2010
From 3:30 to 5:30am I tried to be as quiet as a church mouse. Bumped, stumped and mashed every extremity I have. (It is hard to whisper swear words.)
From 5:50 to 8:30am I managed to screw several things up related to blogger. Sent a message for help, got spam in return. (Sort of like finding a toothbrush in your Halloween candy.)
At 8:30am I phoned my grandmother the following was our conversation:
”Hello Granny, how you doin this morning?”
”I’m wobbling around in my pj’s. What are you doing?”
“Sitting here playing with dogs.”
Which lead to a lengthy dialog about her not being able to sleep with pets and her old beloved “Mitzy” being buried in the back yard which I will not bother you with.
”Did you know there is a conspiracy to take preachers off Television?” she asks.
”Why do you say that, granny?”
”Because there aren’t any on, it has to be conspiracy. I’m watching some cartoon in the 600’s. What happen to my other remotes?”
”Your other remotes do not work anymore, I hid them so you would not try to use them.”
”Well why don’t they work, do they need new batteries?”
”No, you have a new cable box and only that remote will work now.”
”I don’t have a cable box.”
”Yes you do. See that box with the red nightlight?”
”Oh yes, that is a nice nightlight but this remote does not work. What are you watching?”
”I’m watching the morning show, channel 9.”
”It will not go to channel 9, it is not working; I’ll just turn it off.”
I sat there listening to her television blaring in the background and knew she was watching the “Penguins of Madagascar.” The sound did not go off though.
”Is it not turning your TV off either?” I asked.
”No, I tell you it is not working.”
”Push just the single 9 and wait.”
”I pushed the nine and I did wait, nothing is happening.”
”Push the off button.”
”I’ve pushed that as well and I want it off until I get dressed.”
”Well you must be doing something wrong.”
”I am not doing anything wrong, I’m just pushing the off.”
”Where is the off button?”
”Off, right next to talk.”
Go ahead laugh, we both did. But I’m frazzled from being a self-help desk so early in the morning; I’m going to take a nap.