Up In Smoke

Monday, October 25, 2010

With the snap of a lighter she lit the skinny poison stick. Exhaling, smoke mesmerized her from yesterday to tomorrow and the thoughts of a life vanished in a wisp of smoke. The curled, dancing trail reminded her of an evil seductress.  It called her name, moved in beauty and left her wanting more.

Every movement of her hand left a gray twirling trail of wonder, a sign of whence it came and yet it would vanish as if never there. “How apropos,” she thought, taking her eyes away from the seduction of the smoke.

As she looked away the sound of rain gently falling broke the trance. A smile managed to curl itself upon her face. The smell of freshness strolled right in and escorted the memorizing smoke deep into nothingness. “Thank you,” was all she could mutter.

She understood the metaphor, knew nothing good would come from sitting and watching smoke dance around an empty room. The rain had been her knight in shinning armor, broke the mesmerizing dance of the smoke and allowed her to smile. Again, the smoke danced and called her name. “I will not be entranced by you, why do you call my name?” she demanded.

The smoke responded with a gentle twirl and swirl catching her off guard. “You do have an evil beauty,” she almost whispered “but I have no need for evil seduction, a purpose is what I seek.”

She was pleading with a flame. “How sad,” she thought and ordered the smoke to leave the room. Another wisp of fresh air and it was gone. “Much better,” she thought and began to run down the morning chores.

One by one she tallied the list of what had to be done, after all, the smoke had left the room. Gathering her thoughts and sipping the last cup of coffee, her plan was about to unfold. “Hey, if the smoke has left the room, what is that smell?”

Panic stricken she searched the room with her eyes. “Where is that coming from?” she questioned. Motionless except for her eyes she felt as though the mesmerizing smoke once again called to her.  “I will not allow you back, your seductive motion is not good for me,” she screamed.

The smoke must have been tormented and thought her the same. It must have thought she needed the anguish and pain and set out to oblige her.

”Oh crap, my pants are on fire.”

Smoking is bad for you and dangerous..

Peace my followers….


Bossy Betty said, 

That's how all my dramatic/heavy scenes end up!!

October 25, 2010 at 9:44 AM  
Aleta said, 

Great post and so true! Loved that you wrote about the smoke ;)

October 25, 2010 at 10:00 AM  
Karen Walker said, 

Hi there,
Love the images in this piece, Jules.

October 25, 2010 at 10:01 AM  
Clarissa Draper said, 

What a great way to state a point. I agree, smoking is incredibly dangerous. I love the ending where she realizes her pants are on fire! CD

October 25, 2010 at 10:13 AM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Couldn't have said it better myself!

October 25, 2010 at 10:36 AM  
The Golden Eagle said, 

I love the ending to that story--I certainly didn't see it coming! And it is an excellent way of getting your point across.

October 25, 2010 at 1:28 PM  
Rick said, 

If you not writing detective novels, you ought to consider it. The excerpt was like swallowing whiskey hot from sitting in the sun. Very nice work.

October 25, 2010 at 5:14 PM  
N. R. Williams said, 

I love how you made the smoke into a character and used it's allure to destroy in the end.
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

October 25, 2010 at 7:39 PM  
Ellen aka Ella said, 

YOU characterized it and described the allure and then the dark side!~
Great JOB! Wonderful way to wrap it up~

October 25, 2010 at 8:29 PM  
Tammy said, 

Beautiful imagery and like Aleta said, so true! Loved the unexpected laugh at the end!

October 25, 2010 at 9:39 PM  
kobico said, 

Oh my, the proper southern belle made a butt joke. You're hilarious, Jules!

October 26, 2010 at 12:58 AM  
Glynis said, 

Brilliant work! Great message at the end. :)

October 26, 2010 at 6:06 AM  
N. R. Williams said, 

I gave you a blog award Jules, come by and snatch it.
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

October 26, 2010 at 7:45 AM  
Debbie said, 

Well done! You nailed the ending on this.

October 26, 2010 at 8:51 AM  
Olivia J. Herrell said, 

Jules, your writing just keeps getting better.

Love it! that rebel, Olivia
P.S. On the more somber side, addiction is a beeotch.

October 26, 2010 at 5:14 PM  
Jean said, 

Since I recently quit smoking this post was very much enjoyed. You nailed it.:)

October 31, 2010 at 9:45 AM  
Let's Talk, Leave A Comment

Going UP