Weather from a Hillbilly

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Today I am participating in a blogfest at The Writer's Hole, my second and the topic “weather.” Now I could wrote some story that was just long enough to wet your whistle or  about the meaningless examples of why you should/should not carry weather gear, but NO! I chose to write about how we hillbillies actually forecast and describe the weather.

Growing up in a Kentucky we learn very young, that television, bad outfit wearing, out-of-state weather persons know nothing of Kentucky weather; they just have not lived here long enough. In Kentucky if you do not like the weather, just wait a day. Television is not our main resource for weather. So, exactly how does a hillbilly predict and describe the weather?

First and foremost a hillbilly understands their environment. We believe every slithering; slimy, noise-making creature on earth has some tie to the weather. We also believe not only do they have ties to the weather but can actually speak to us about it. It has nothing to do with the wild hemp that grows abundantly in Kentucky.

We can read the sky; yes, hillbillies can just look at the sky and tell the weather. What a weatherman in summer might call cumulus, a hillbilly will call “brewin.” The weather forecast would sound like, “them clouds are brewin up to a gully warsher.” (Pronounced: war-sher) Get the dialect down or you’ll be lost.

Those same clouds in the winter would be described as “a dumpin.” To put it into context, “them clouds say we gonna get a dumpin, better head to town now.” Though city folks in Kentucky panic hearing this hillbilly prediction. Mention snow in a Kentucky city and within 30 minutes you will not see bread or milk until spring.

On those occasions when we do have severe weather you may not realize it if you watch it on television. The dialogue you will hear will always sound something like this:

”me and ma, seen that water coming, got the boat off the porch and just waited to float up here, when you think our satellite dish will operate again?”

”I just knew she was gonna come a dumpin, parked my tractor right there. See that pile of snow, that’s my tractor. I’ll be ta spring diggin that thang out.”

”It was a tornadee, I tell you. Look at them there trees all blowed apart.”

Yes we hillbillies can forecast the weather; it is just the way in which we describe it, that masks our ability. Should you ask a hillbilly about the weather, don’t be surprised in the answer is a riddle. “What has to black stripes, crawls on the ground and there is a slew of em? Its, gonna be dumpin early and late, just bone chillin in between.”

In closing, should you be passing through my fine state and you hear the terms “a brewin, a dumpin” or the strange word “tornadee,” seek shelter immediately, it’s a hillbilly storm warning.

Everyone have a perfect weather sort of day.



10 comments:

Mary said, 

Too cute! Couldn't believe I still got it after all these years.
Mary

August 14, 2010 at 9:49 AM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

The weather is always a safe bet to write about, either too hot, too dry one could go on for hours.
Enjoyed your post, thanks for dropping by, what did you mean about a slide?

Yvonne.

August 14, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Francine said, 

Hi,

Fun post: enjoyed it very much.

Ah, the terminology of local inhabitants! Go visit cider land in the west country England UK, to those not from thereabours the local dialect is riddled with confusions!
best
F

August 14, 2010 at 10:16 AM  
Tammy said, 

Still smiling. I bet the hillbilly forecasts are more accurate than doppler radar any day.

August 14, 2010 at 11:44 AM  
Gail said, 

I have learned to listen to wiser neighbors more than tv.

August 14, 2010 at 1:39 PM  
February Grace said, 

It wouldn't surprise me if they could feel it in their bones too when a storm is coming. I can! I'm like a human barometer.

Brilliant. Loved this. Following now!

bru

August 14, 2010 at 5:19 PM  
Amalia T. said, 

hahaha! this was a great post! Nice way of addressing the weather theme!

August 14, 2010 at 10:35 PM  
L'Aussie said, 

Jules, loved your take on the blogfest. It was interesting to hear about Hillbilly weather..:)

August 14, 2010 at 10:45 PM  
Jules said, 

Thank you, to all my lovely commenting readers. I really was hoping you would see the humor.

Peace!
Jules

August 15, 2010 at 7:16 AM  
Donna Hole said, 

I laughed so hard my kids went looking for the thorazine. I read it to them; they didn't get it.

This was great. Like watching a Jeff Foxworthy video.

......dhole

August 15, 2010 at 9:38 PM  
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