I Am YELLOW; See Me Shine!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The internal alarm clock had sounded in her head, morning and it is time to get up. She was awake but fear would not allow her to open her eyes. Would the same dark reflection be there, that same awful reflection that cast no images yesterday?

She was trying to muster the courage to open her eyes, telling herself it was only a reflection but still a fear resided deep within. “This is crazy,” she thought. “Open your eyes, you have nothing to fear.” With that she slammed open her eyes and in the same instance saw the date flashing back at her. Oh what a difference a year makes or does it?

This time one year ago, I was recovering from another depressing situation that had transpired in my life, when the train just missed its stop. The depression train just kept on rolling and I became a statistic, a number you only hear about on the evening news, I became an unemployed American.

After picking myself up, several months later, I began to realize many things about being unemployed. It was not as you might think and goodness lies' where you may chose to look. “What is so good about being unemployed,” you might ask?

You learn very quickly to make conscious decisions. Once the depression has faded and it does, you then tackle living with the unknown. This is where you are educated about conscious decisions. It is a conscious choice to be yellow or blue, happy or sad; I chose yellow.

You begin to find value in those things that, when employed, always seemed to take a back seat. The simple, no money can buy things; like a sunrise or a dog’s endless devotion. You begin to see the wonder right outside your own window. That gentle word of encouragement, that simple act of kindness, all seem to go straight to your heart.

It is very humbling when you can offer very little and must rely on family and friends. It also allows one to realize we are not alone and if you find someone who is, change it. Though your last name may not be “Trump” you still have the ability to give and receive.

In the past year I have been educated to the fact I am exactly where I am suppose to be. I no longer fear the unknown; I have placed that fear in much bigger hands than mine. That though I do not have a lot, I still can give and that what I give will come back two fold.

That sometimes when you buy a ticket a safe passage in not guaranteed and that you must empty your pockets to board the train. Though I purchased my ticket, I have no idea to where, it is a mystery journey and I’m still learning to empty those pockets.
I am YELLOW; see me shine!



9 comments:

Corine said, 

I know you don't know me~ I stumbled upon your blog today and this is the first that I have read. But I have to tell you... That was absolutely beautiful... I love it! Thanks so much for sharing. :D

PS I have learned the same life lessons. Some of my very happiest times have been when I had zero money to spend.

Corine :D

August 4, 2010 at 11:00 AM  
Clarissa Draper said, 

What a great outlook on life. I know that I had a time dealing with unemployment and I went through a phase where I felt useless but I'm happy now taking in the little things... like coffee.

CD

August 4, 2010 at 11:58 AM  
Corine said, 

Thanks for visiting me at my blog and expressing interest in it. :) Since you asked if I had a "followers" section, I added one to my blog. Thanks again for your interest, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I know I will enjoy reading yours. Corine :)

August 4, 2010 at 1:18 PM  
Corine said, 

PS. I wish you the best of blessings in finding employment SOON! Great job with the great attitude!

August 4, 2010 at 1:19 PM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Hope you're feeling better today Jules.

I enjoyed the post, a fantastic outlook. I hope the job situation sorts itself out soon.

Take care.
Yvonne.

August 4, 2010 at 2:56 PM  
arlee bird said, 

That's a good outlook that you have. I can certainly identify being in much the same situation. It's much better to keep yourself in the light than to hide away in darkness and depression.

Lee
Tossing It Out

August 4, 2010 at 5:09 PM  
Jules said, 

Corine, welcome! I hope you find my blog enjoying.

CD, I agree COFFEE! :D

Yvonne, Yes thank you much better.

Lee, I'm sorry to learn we have this similar situation but at least we both can smile.

August 4, 2010 at 7:48 PM  
Kelly said, 

I too have not found a job yet, but have faith that something will come up. It's kinda weird being a single mom without a safety net, until I starting thinking I AM my own safety net. I wish you well, and hope something will transpire to bring you what you need. I truly believe that when one door closes, that's when you find a window...

August 4, 2010 at 10:27 PM  
Rayna M. Iyer said, 

Sorry it has taken me so long to get to your blog- I wanted to visit when I had time to get to know you better, not just drop by when I knew you would not be home to do a duty.

This was the first post I read, and you've already made me cry.

August 6, 2010 at 6:04 AM  
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