Fight or Flight? I Need a Warning Label.

Friday, August 27, 2010

It seems as if an eon has transpired since last Friday. Time waits for no man and such. One week ago today, I was sitting in a hospital praying my heart out, hoping for the best and at the same time wishing I could hide in a closet until the danger had passed. Fight or flight, you know?

I realize we all have fight or flight triggers, it is part of being human. I also realize my personal fight trigger is a bit on the hair trigger side. I will fight for a cause, the underdog, and even self-protection. I will not be a meek by stander when it comes to the injustices of the world, but flight? When it comes to flight triggers, I have but two.

I have spent a good deal of time conquering childhood fears but this past week has left me with an undeniable knowledge that some fears may not be surmountable. You must live with it. Last week I thought I could overcome my fear of emergency medical situations but instead I am issuing myself a warning label.

While at the hospital I was good for praying, getting meals, waiting in the hall and retrieving anything from the car. "Do not leave her alone with the patient, she freaks out." That is what my warning label will read.

Put me in this situation and I will call 911, step in the hall and freeze like a Popsicle. I am totally useless, a sissy, a basket case. No one in their right mind would leave a patient in my care. Thank the lord my family understands.

Example; we were discussing my mother having the ability to go the grocery when my father comes home. “No offense to you but I’d rather have your brother here.” No offense taken mom, I’d rather have my brother there too.

I tired my best to be strong and overcome my phobia this past week but failed. At one point my father had a severe shivering fit, freaked me totally out! I stepped into the hall and prayed. It was then I realized my sisters had to come out and check on me, I was more of a hindrance than help.

Yes, I'm running out right now and getting this tattooed on my forehead, “Do not leave alone with patient, sudden ice will appear.”

Oh, and my other flight trigger? Cock roaches. They are the scariest, ugliest things ever made and I think they are the devil. But that is another post.

There I have divulged my fear, my phobia and what makes me run. What makes you run? Is there something you just cannot seem to get past?

Everyone have a wonderful weekend.




14 comments:

Karen Walker said, 

Jules, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I've learned to not beat myself up for the weaknesses and to not fluff my feathers out over the strengths. We are what we are. We can work on those things we think we can change, but accepting ourselves is key. You're in a family crisis right now. Please be gentle with yourself.
Karen

August 27, 2010 at 9:54 AM  
Summer Ross said, 

For me- honestly I'm terrified of the dark. Only I completely freeze up when I get scared of it. However if you want to talk more emotionally though- I'm terrified of living with someone or being married again LOL. The thought of relying that heavily on another person again really makes me panic.

However I am good with medical stuff...winks.

August 27, 2010 at 9:54 AM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Knowing your flight fears is half way to conquering them. I have read about this in great depth.Over the years I have conquered my fear of swimming pools. Thunder storms(I still don't like them but not so afraid)I have my self confidence back and can fight any cause I have to if I know I am right, I DO have one big fear.......which I suppose everyone has and that's the BIG C.
My husband had it twice and eventually he passed away and my eledest son had it three years ago at the moment he is "Clear". I had what we here call a smear test for cervical cancer a routine test done every five years, that was done in Sept, last year....result abnormal.....I panicked, I had to have a biopsy which showed inflamation of the cervix...no cancer. I was told to go to my doctors in 6 months for another smear,.....result abnormal but am waiting for another biopsy in
Oct.I am terrified to what they will find.I know all the relaxation techinques but this fear will not go.The truth is one can't reun away from one's self.

Yvonne.

August 27, 2010 at 10:13 AM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Everyone handles those situations differently. Don't think less of yourself because of your response.
Just keep warning lable handy!

August 27, 2010 at 11:48 AM  
arlee bird said, 

I can empathize with your discomfort about being with someone who needs care. I think it's difficult and is compounded greatly when it is someone close to you
I am not really phobic about too many things. If anything it would be a fear of tight eclosed places and not being able to breath. I almost went into panic mode when I had to get an MRI and was inside the scanner for like about 20 minutes. They gave me a panic button to press if I needed to get out so I guess that means my fear is not that unusual. I managed to stay in for the full time, but it was very uncomfortable.

Lee
Tossing It Out

August 27, 2010 at 11:53 AM  
Ellie said, 

Fear of the unknown can trip this response. I have had it happen to me! It is going to the Dr for me.
I was one time left in a room, for over an hour, waiting to hear if I had kidney disease. The Dr was distracted by one of the employees.
A medical question, after a bike accident had suddenly come in. By the time she reached my room and I did hear them giggling in the hall way. I was in flight mode..hives, the whole bit. It was to long to wait and my nerves got the best of me! YOU know where you stand, work on your strengths...do what you can. Run errands, mail, store, cook, etc. xXx

August 27, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Rayna M. Iyer said, 

If all of us were alike, what a boring world it would be. You know your strengths and weaknesses- that is more than most people do.

Take care.

August 27, 2010 at 12:37 PM  
Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said, 

I agree with Karen! We're all who we are, don't sweat it.

take care!

August 27, 2010 at 12:39 PM  
Tammy said, 

I think the sensitivity that makes for some great writing is what makes some of us wimps when it comes to family emergencies. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. And cockroaches--ewww!!! I'm with you.

August 27, 2010 at 4:56 PM  
Gail said, 

There will be things you can help with, don't beat yourself up!

August 27, 2010 at 6:33 PM  
The Words Crafter said, 

I can so empathize with you. Bless your heart, you are not the only one that freezes. Sometimes, I'm too afraid to ask for help. Other times, I'm tearing through anyone who gets in my way. I learned this when my mom spent a month in the hospital and the staff were less than professional. Know what? It doesn't matter. That you're there for the people you love when they need you is all that matters.

August 27, 2010 at 6:44 PM  
Roland D. Yeomans said, 

Freezing has saved many a life. You grow from your weaknesses, not your strengths. You will rise to the circumstances better next time.

I am in your corner, rooting for you, Roland. You have my email if you need to vent.

August 27, 2010 at 7:03 PM  
Queen-Size funny bone said, 

You response to the situation is quite common actually. My trigger had always been hospitals , needles and tubes UNTIl my husband fell off a ladder and spent two months in the ICU. It took everything I could muster to face the situation and if he even twitched I was a alarm.

August 27, 2010 at 11:26 PM  
Jules said, 

Oh my heavens, you guys are wonderful. Thank you so much for the encouraging words and support. This means the world to me. However...

Please understand I was not being hard on myself, just honest. I guess I did not express it well, for that I am sorry. The saving grace in this post was learning I am not alone.

What an absolute wonderful community we have here in blogville.

Peace my friends...

August 28, 2010 at 7:15 AM  
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