Chip and Dale: You're Evicted

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Somewhere along the way I grew up, bought a house and now realize I have squatters. These squatters have annoyed me and I’m not quite sure whom you call about having them evicted. Are their still laws concerning squatters? Do I have a legal leg to stand on?

Growing up I loved Disney characters but now that two are squatting on my property I’m not so sure. Yes, Chip and Dale are squatting in and on my yard. Apparently Disney World did not provide them with enough kudos at the park and they have relocated to Kentucky, in my yard.
Okay I will evict them myself and so I headed to the shed to retrieve my live trap. Live trap in hand, I selected the most used entrance to their newfound home and set the trap. Two hours later I found myself laughing at the fact Chip needed to join weight watchers.

Chip had took the bait and was now hanging half out of the live trap because his rear end did “appear smaller” when he looked in the mirror. Realizing I could not let him just hang there, my live trap now has one large hole in it. I cut him loose.

Well, that did not work; maybe I can drive them to some other yard. Bucket full of bricks I set out to plug all the new doors to their illegal home. A brick should be heavy enough, right? Apparently not.

I made my way around the yard, plugged all the doorways and went in for the evening; I’ll check it out tomorrow. Next day, as I made my way to the first door I had plugged I was amazed. Not only were the bricks not heavy enough, they had stacked two together to build themselves a porch.

Okay I’m not going to encourage squatters; that did not work either. I will not offer free construction material for their home. “Now what,” I thought. I guess I will have to use my secret weapon, Fragile Mouse.

As I watched for the sneaky little squatters to emerge I held Mouse up in order for her to see what she should evict. Now don’t get your panties in a wad, she cannot catch them, this was a scare tactic.

Chip and Dale emerged singing what I swear was “Hi-Ho” and I let them get to second verse before I let Fragile Mouse out. Out she went straight for ole Chip and Dale. The race was on.

It looked just like the real life version of the cartoon. Ms. Mouse went straight to evicting the cute little squatters. Chip and Dale got cut off from their newly constructed porch, freaked out, and headed for what they thought were their other escape options.

With each option they soon realized they had forgot to remove those bricks I had placed the day before. After the third brick I know I heard Dale call Chip something but it was not Chip and with that they headed for the front yard.

At least half the yard is free of squatters, better than free range and NO animal was harmed in the making of this post. Chip did lose a few pounds though but he needed to. So who would you call?