The FDA and Better Living Through Chemicals

Yes, yes, yes, I’m over my hormonal imbalance of yesterday. I have arrived back to the normal world and I have some questions. While away on my chemical imbalance it seems I have missed some new regulations regarding the F.D.A. When did these new regulations take affect?

Since when did medication have to smell good? I do not remember this being a concern in my past. I was spoon fed weird concoctions by my mother that yes, did cause nausea. After all the moment you swallowed your gag reflex kicked in, followed by the scolding, “Don’t you dare throw that up.”
Concerned about this recall based on smell I asked my grandmother’s doctor. I was informed not to worry, it was fine but this raised another question? Will this new F.D.A. regulation lead to new aroma requirements for medication? Well, if it does I’d like mine to smell like bacon please.

All these recalls have made me pay closer attention to drug commercials. As I am getting older and well aware that better living through chemicals will soon be a reality, I felt it prudent. Now I am really confused and how did the F.D.A. approve these drugs?

Why would I consider a drug that has more side effects than healing properties? Why is a trade off required? Take a drug for high blood pressure and lose your vision. Take a pill for depression and you will hallucinate. Take a drug for bladder control and you have a heart attack. I think I would rather wet the bed than die trying to get there.

This leads me to the newest of drugs, those sexual arousal ones that apparently we will need as we age. I’m sorry but the disclaimer that sticks out in my mind is, “May cause shortness of breath.”

Excuse me but does not having good sex cause shortness of  breathe anyway? Maybe their marketing demographic is just targeting virgins and people who have never had good sex? I’m not sure, either way I’m taking notes.

When I do reach the age that chemicals are a requirement I want to remember to ask the mental question. “Is this shortness of breathe due to good sex or just a side effect?”

Who cares, you took that damn depression pill to soon.

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