Multi-Tasking: Oprah Was Right

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Multi-tasking is a modern term that we coined only to find out humans cannot do it. Why even Oprah provided us with experts to prove this fact and begged us not to try. Okay I’m a believer; I finally have the proof we humans cannot multi-task. Why am I suddenly a believer, how do I know this to be true?

Yesterday I started the day with a list of tasks I needed to achieve before the weekend and I did want a weekend. My list included grocery shopping, cleaning house, trimming bushes, exercise the dogs and to cook a pleasant dinner. I would learn by the days end that the list was just that, a list.

I would attempt to sauté onions for an omelet and sweep the floor. I placed the diced the onions in the skillet and tried to sweep the floor. Wrong, when I next checked the skillet I saw what looked very similar to what is washing ashore in the gulf, clue one.

I tired to run the sweeper, dust and organize accumulated clutter what I got was the credentials to be a circus juggler. Every time I picked up apiece of clutter the dogs did a circle dance around my feet causing me to juggle whatever I had just picked up. This is getting me nowhere let’s go outside, clue two.

I tried again to throw balls and spray paint a neglected planter. This is actually what I did; spray, throw ball, spray, shoot out of paint. Pots will be another color, spray, and get away, spray, oops. One of my dogs now has new silver paw polish, okay clue three.

I was getting smarter I did try to do just this, trim. I did accomplish the limbs getting clipped and removed from the fence when I guess the universe decided enough with the clues; give her a smack on the head.

Just as I actually got to picking up my trimming all three dogs decided at the same time, “Throw my ball.” Arms full of limbs I suddenly found my self roller-skating down the hill on rubber balls and at that exact moment Mother Nature decided to throw in moisture. Okay we will go back to cleaning house.

Back inside, I did manage to clean the bathroom and sweep the stairs before I realized my organizing had been merely relocating. As I stood there looking at my relocated clutter I saw the clock, crap it’s five o’clock, I still have to go to the grocery.

After a one-minute shower I made it, but so did all the other worn out multi-tasking attempters. It was half way through a very time consuming shopping spree that I realized the pleasant dinner was going to fall sacrifice to my multi-tasking day. I made it home with a deli chicken.

If you think you can multi-task, think again. This is what I got for my attempt; 2 of 5 rooms cleaned, relocated clutter, half painted planter, a silver pawed dog, a pile of wet bush branches, and a sore back from roller skating.

I now know why Oprah is against it. I think I’ll stick to doing it the old fashion way, checking my list off one item at a time.