Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I am a Baby Boomer and lived through that part of American history that helped shape this country. The shear volume of my generation is what causes my concern and so I tried to imagine what I had to look forward to. What would be different from what today’s elderly now has as amenities?
Well, grocery stores would have to make deliveries or install aisle lane markings. No way do they have room for all the motorized shopping carts that will be required. But the good news is pizzas, chips and beer will be sold in bulk, we are the “munchies” generation.
At the rate we were born I just know there is going to be a shortage of depends. I fear we will become hoarders, that we will stock pile them when we can find them. So the snail pace dash to the restroom on our walkers will become my generation’s version of a geriatric stockcar race.
If you think it is hard finding an open stall at a large event now just wait until we Boomers get there. It will look like an old western saloon with horses tied up in front but instead of horses it will be walkers.
The assisted living home will be required to have a mini-van for group road trips. It shall be required to have numerous peace sign decals and a bobble head doggie on the dashboard. Do not bother planning an outing to the bingo hall; we want a rock concert or a casino.
Since our motto was “Drugs, sex and rock-n-roll,” Boomers will require someone to dispense their medication; otherwise assisted living parties will become a policeman’s nightmare. I fear the wonder drug Viagra will have to become a controlled substance, we were the peace and love generation, you know.
Gardens at the assisted living community will have to be patrolled by the DEA. We know how to grow and cure our own glaucoma medication. Should I mention those mushrooms we are growing are not for salads?
So if you are not concerned yet with Baby Boomers imagine this; an entire generation on the highway not having one earthly idea of where they are going and not really caring.
After all we have our mini-van, friends, walkers in tow and we all brought our glaucoma medication. ROAD TRIP!