Sunday, June 13, 2010
The Situation was attending my niece’s high school graduation and the outcome was showing her how proud we all were of her. To provide her with a day she will always remember. It was also about me being educated while attending the ceremony.
We did the usual acts of says congratulations, taking family photos and then finding the seats that my sister had so kindly reserved for us. It was as we sat in these reserved seats I began my education. A follow-up education I hope only is required in Kentucky.
First lesson; “One size does fit all.” Apparently in Kentucky if you can hold your breath long enough, shift your boobs just right, and wiggle you rear end into a deformed shape, it will fit. You may look like a bale of cotton with the bands broke but it fits.
Second lesson: why my grandmother insists on buttoning the top button of her shirt. If you have more than an inch of loose, tanned skin on your chest and insist on wearing one of those “push-me up, look sexy bras,” then the result will be a chest that resembles a Shar-pei dogs face. Get a license before wearing this.
Last lesson: that in Kentucky we start political grooming in high school. My nieces class president spoke for twenty minutes broke out into song and then continued for 10 more minutes of speaking. I have to presume he aspires to be the next Kentucky Senator.
There were more lessons to this situations outcome and I am sure some day my niece and I will relive them with laughter. However, the day did have another outcome. There is outcome number two, same situation, high school graduation.
My nephew also graduated this year but I do not know exactly when, he is home schooled. I do not know if it was his choice or if in Kentucky he just does not have an option. Either way he did not have a special ceremony and it left me very sad.
I did not get the chance to say how proud I was, attend an educating commencement, or I even have an invitation for my family tree book. We will have nothing to look back and laugh about. The entire concept makes me very disappointed for him.
He’ll have to sit and listen to my niece brag about her gift and graduation adventures where he will have none. What a rip off, what kind of memory is that?