Monday, June 7, 2010
If you are the significant other to middle aged woman you might recognize these symptoms. You come home only to find the air conditioning and ceiling fans on high, your mate lying in the middle of the floor stark naked; this is not a hint it is a symptom. Politely hand them a cool cloth and walk away.
Later that night you select an action picture where half way through you look to your mate and tears are streaming down their face; don’t ask it is a symptom. Most likely they will not know why they are crying and personally I feel it is the bodies way of counter acting the days previous event. Best just to hand them a Kleenex and not speak.
Should you be asked to do something by your mate while in this condition, do not procrastinate. Procrastination will lead to another symptom where you will suddenly become the reason all mankind is in the toilet. Just say, “Yes dear” and do as asked.
If you are not a significant other but rather a co-worker, friend, relative, or just near one of these women please take note. Should they suddenly turn red in the face, grab every ones napkins, and proceed to drink all the water at the table, leave it alone. Try your best not to notice and carry on.
Should you witness the above symptoms do not ask simple questions, simple questions will lead to possession. Their eyes will bug out, their heads will spin, they will speak another language and you will only hope green pea soup come out of their mouth.
Lastly what ever you do; do not try to cheat, lie to, persuade, pity, or prove this woman wrong. The old saying, “0 to bitch in 60 seconds” you will find to be an under statement. Suddenly you will be faced with the devil himself and unless you are wearing a crucifix the wrath of God will follow.
So I beg you to take note of these symptoms, protect yourself and I hope this sheds some light on this elite group of women. Besides, didn’t you want to know why you asked that simple question only to come to work and find everything glued to you desktop?