Word Verification/Airport Security, huh?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Let me start by thanking both, D.L. Hammons and Alex Cavanaugh, for hosting their blogfests. Both fests that enlightened us as to our blogging friend’s true self. D.L. allowed a loved one to divulge about us and Alex by exposing ourselves through music. Thanks guys!

Now; word verification and airport security, I know what do they have in common? Actually nothing but, being Wednesday I felt wacky. Try your best to follow along.

Before Christmas I made a comment about word verification. Not that I mind it, but rather I understand why some use it. In saying that, I started to keep a list. I found many of these letter jumbles I could actually use in sentence or at least define.

I mean no slight to us hillbillies. However, our accent turns what seems mere letters to you, into perfect English to us. In an effort to keep this short, I have to get to airport security, allow me to give you some examples. First I will list the word as seen in word verification and then use the word in a sentence for you.

Drogther: “I was drogther.” or as you might say “I was drug there.”
Lestshe: “Lestshe do that Ma will bust her.” You, “Lest she..” we tend to run our words together.
Implumb: “Implumb tired.” You would say, “I am plumb tired.”
Defire: “Stoke the defire Pa, I’m cold.”
Cyclenha: “Cyclenha, I’d rather ride a horse.” You would say, “Cycling, hah.” See what I mean about running our words together.
Oogings: This I included because we do not ogle, we eyeball. Basically city folk passing through, therefore I feel we oog. We stare hard with one eye.
Promobo: “Harry was my promobo.”  It is not a date but a bo or beau to you.
Anbean: You have to know this one by now. “AnBean married Uncle Pole.”
Unwavers: And this is you, city folks. You drive past us hillbillies sitting on our porches, doing our best oog and never wave. Bunch of unwavers, you are.

Do you get word verification now? At the least you might be able to understand a small bit of hillbilly dialect. Either way I tend to have fun with word verification and find myself more than once a day laughing at what it throws at me.

Now, airport security. I know for many of you the full body search caused a great deal of un-due stress. I remember reading all sorts of posts both pro and con on the issue but honestly was unaffected by the topic, well good news.

A dear friend of mine was kind enough to send me the latest statistics on our new security measures. I felt it only fair to pass these along. Hopefully it will relieve some of that stress and allow you to understand it is working. 

As presented to me, here are the number totals:

Terrorist Plots Discovered – 0

Transvestites – 133

Hernias - 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases - 3,172

Enlarged Prostates - 8,249

Breast Implants - 59,350

Extremely small genitals-62,173

Natural Blondes – 3

Due to the release of the new numbers, two airlines are contemplating offering blow-up donuts and preparation-H as incentives to fly with them.

You all have a wonderful hump day.
Peace…



31 comments:

Angela Felsted said, 

I hope you have a good too. I've never been overly fond of word verification, especially when commenting on a large number of blogs on the same morning.

January 26, 2011 at 8:21 AM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

I second the thanks to Alex on Monday's fest.
As for the security letters I use them as I was getting so not so nice messages and was advised to use this.
As all is well now I may as well take them off.( The letters)
15 days to Nashville getting excited dspite painful leg but going down a slide will soon remedy that.
You also have a good day.

Yvonne.

January 26, 2011 at 8:36 AM  
Jenny said, 

Hi. Saw you in the sidebar of a blog I visited and was intriqued by your post title.

This was funny. Thanks for the laugh.

January 26, 2011 at 9:14 AM  
KarenG said, 

Hillbilly dialect? LOL! I wondered what the word verifs were saying! I'm flying in 2 days, thanks for reminding me of how much I love security. NOT! Actually tho, it's not that bad as long as you've flown enough to know the routine, and as long as you aren't sick with the flu, look like crap and thus get pulled out of the line and picked on as a possible terrorist. Yes, this has happened to me twice. Moral of the story-- don't fly when you feel like crap because most likely you will look like crap and they'll pick on you. (wear make up even if you don't feel like it)

January 26, 2011 at 9:58 AM  
Jan Morrison said, 

excellent - and I never realized that hillbillies have the same way of speaking as our rural folk in nova scotia. hmmmmm. rightsumgood!
Jan Morrison

January 26, 2011 at 9:58 AM  
Summer Ross said, 

lol, great post Jules! I use word verification for character names :)

January 26, 2011 at 10:01 AM  
Life 101 said, 

What a scream! I'll look at word verification in a whole new way from now on.
Thanks Jules.

January 26, 2011 at 10:04 AM  
Melissa Bradley said, 

This is great! A new way of looking at word verification to be sure. And I have to love those security stats. Looks like we should go the airport when we need to have a med screening. We wouldn't have to fork over such huge amounts of cash.

January 26, 2011 at 11:10 AM  
Bossy Betty said, 

Just went through airport security--so you can add two more to that breast enhancement number.

Thinking of you!

January 26, 2011 at 11:18 AM  
Kris Kaumeyer said, 

I haven't flown in nine years, and I'm will this year. I can't wait to expose myself to the unsuspecting TSA folks.

January 26, 2011 at 11:50 AM  
M Pax said, 

I once got a phuct. lol

Last I flew was day before the full body checks - thank goodness. Funny stats.

January 26, 2011 at 12:25 PM  
N. R. Williams said, 

LOL You wonderful Lady. Aw, and that's from a city folk who has blood ties to hillbillies though distant. Once, word v. through one of my characters at me. Oh, yes it is true, Conal. To learn more read the book.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

January 26, 2011 at 12:41 PM  
Teresa aka JW said, 

Being a native hillbilly I totally understand word verification words.

January 26, 2011 at 1:18 PM  
Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said, 

I think this means that I'm a hillbilly.

January 26, 2011 at 1:30 PM  
Amy said, 

Happy Hump Day Jules! Your post was hilarious and exactly what I needed this week.
Thanks,
Amy
http://925hell.blogspot.com

January 26, 2011 at 2:17 PM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Both the word definitions and airport security stats were great!
And glad you had a good time with the blogfest.

January 26, 2011 at 3:30 PM  
Velvet Over Steel said, 

Super funny and Very clever, Jules!! I am still laughing!!!!
Thank you!!

Hope you are having fabulous 'hump day' too!!

Hugs,
Coreen xoxoxo

January 26, 2011 at 4:13 PM  
DL Hammons said, 

LOL!!!!! I turned off word verification several months ago and I'm glad I did.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed the blogfest! It far exceeded my expectations. :)

January 26, 2011 at 6:43 PM  
Tammy said, 

I thought I was the only one who was so intrigued by word verification, but your definitions are the best! I always wonder if those are computer generated, or if someone thinks them up. Wouldn't that be a great job? And your airport security section was the best laugh I've had all day!

January 26, 2011 at 8:36 PM  
Flying high in the sky.... said, 
This comment has been removed by the author.
January 27, 2011 at 4:13 AM  
Flying high in the sky.... said, 

haa...haa... the stats made me laugh hard!!! .but i really hope it was just a joke...

word verification ... is a tough thing!!

January 27, 2011 at 4:16 AM  
Carolyn Abiad said, 

LOL! This is fantastic! Ooging unwavers! I'm a transplant to the south...I'm turning into a waver, but the ooging...please stop! :D

January 27, 2011 at 11:51 AM  
floweringmama said, 

Girl, you should put a warning on blogs like this! I'm sitting in class, learning how to be a good, ethical counselor and am trying hard not giggle out loud!

Have a great one!
Cathy @ Country Cathy

January 27, 2011 at 12:45 PM  
Clarissa Draper said, 

OMG! That's so funny! Both bits. I love it when word verification is unknowingly sexual. And I'm thinking of flying soon because I need to check a lump in my breast. Can we keep the x-rays? I show can show my doctor that I really did break my ankle.

January 27, 2011 at 2:54 PM  
RosieC said, 

Haha! I guess learning how to talk in Louisiana all those years ago then explains why I never think they're not real words--or are super close to real words. Thanks for enlightening me :)

January 27, 2011 at 4:08 PM  
Holly Ruggiero said, 

Maybe if I look at it as a dialect I might be able to type in the correct letters. ;)

January 27, 2011 at 4:57 PM  
Lynda Young said, 

lol, lots of fun. Thanks for the giggle :)

January 27, 2011 at 6:32 PM  
Stephen Tremp said, 

You can add 12,817 colonoscopies to the list too.

January 28, 2011 at 12:02 AM  
Katie Gates said, 

Fun post, Jules! Word verifications are so trippy. Sometimes, the non-word that shows up seems bizarrely related to the comment that I just left, and I feel that I've been groped by the TSA of the blogosphere! Of course, at some point, Sarah Palin will have used ALL these words in a sentence. And that will be when the terrorists have won.

January 28, 2011 at 2:49 AM  
Janice Phelps Williams said, 

I, too, will never look at Word Verification the same again. Thanks for providing this fun break. Now, can you tell me why some verifications require two words and others only one? Is it because they are super-secure? And what's with the wavy lines and backward grids...and why, at times, are there folks posting in Chinese on my blog... ?

By the way, thanks for visiting my blog recently, Jules!

February 3, 2011 at 3:02 AM  
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