Who Sees the Common Thread?

Friday, January 14, 2011

I could see a tear form in her eyes as my mother sat in a restaurant with me yesterday. There on the overhead screen was the funeral coverage of this week’s youngest shooting victim. It had been a stressful morning for both us and yet here we sat; both tearing up.

“Mom, do not cry or I will too,” I told her. She, with her motherly heart, was imagining what it would feel like to bury a child. I, with my compassionate heart, was imaging what it would feel like to have been the one to have taken that child to such an event. We both had reason for tears.

We sat there for a moment trying to catch our ability to speak when the image of the 9/11 flag appeared on the screen; a truly moving sight that held our tongues in check. It seemed as if we were the only patrons in the restaurant who realized the gravity of what was on that screen.

After a moment I found my voice. “I cannot image living with the fact I took that child there.” To which my mother asked, “How do you get over that?” “You don’t mom. It is something you always carry.” Again, we sat in silence watching the proceedings.

At home, later that evening going over my stressful day, this conversation came back to me. Another tear formed for this shared moment of compassion between a mother and a daughter.

It occurred to me that as different in many ways as my mother and I are, we found a common thread in a tragedy. The same emotion stirred in us yet from different sides of the story. I asked myself, “Why can we all not be like that?”

Why not can we find that common thread of emotion? That tinge of emotion which stirs us to tears on any given matter. Does humanity wear such blinders that walking in another's shoes is out of the question? Has our hearts grown so small that a simple tear does not stand a chance?

We will never understand madmen, nor do I feel we should try. The simple fact is evil is among us. Knowing it is there is half the battle and seeking out the good will only diminish it.

It is the selfless acts, the outpouring of compassion, and the ability to see beyond the differences that matter. But above all, it is the ability to grasp the hand of your enemy and say, “We have a common thread and united we will defeat evil.”

On another note; as I mentioned I had very stressful day yesterday. For reasons right now I will keep to myself, I will not be passing on the awards today as I had intended. I will be making the rounds and am truly sorry I did not visit everyone yesterday.

To all my blogging friends around the world: I know many of you are experiencing your own tragedies, please know I am here seeking the good, feeling the compassion and not even caring about our differences. I know we have a common thread and I’m hanging on to it with all my might.



Summer Ross said, 

My thoughts are with you Jules. Heart wrenching post sweetie. Crisis always leave me at a loss for words. But I'm here if you want to talk, even in e-mail or via facebook.

I was going to let you know that you had asked if I would post my series on a side bar for you to find at any time, and I did for you, top right hand corner. :)

January 14, 2011 at 10:27 AM  
The Blogger Formerly Known As said, 

It’s horribly sad that it often takes a real tragedy to bring real unity, love and compassion in many of us.

Thinking of you

January 14, 2011 at 10:32 AM  
Samantha VĂ©rant said, 

Why is it in tragedy we see humanity? On any other given day, bullies will be bullies, gossip mongers will gossip, etc. It's a shame, really. However, there are some of us out there do hold out a hand, lend a shoulder, and give a well needed hug.

I'm so sorry to hear about your day. ***hugs***

January 14, 2011 at 11:08 AM  
Paula said, 

Thinking of you. Sorry about you feeling so upset about your tiring day. I am at loss for words when it comes to this tragedy. Love and hugs, Paula xxx

January 14, 2011 at 12:46 PM  
KarenG said, 

What a beautiful post. I love the idea of the common thread. Have a good weekend :)

January 14, 2011 at 12:47 PM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Such a tragedy. Rest assured, some of us do share a common thread, it just doesn't feel that strong sometimes.
Thinking about you.

January 14, 2011 at 1:37 PM  
Tracy said, 

I totally hear you and what a positive post; you are putting words to a situation I can find none for. It is a tragedy, but why does such a tragedy have to occur for us as a society to recognize and feel compassion because of the tears of others? Shouldn't we as a nation be proactive and preventative to hurting others? It would seem so to me we could put more effort forth; beginning with a kind word.
You read what I had on my blog about watching how we speak to others and President Obama spoke of the very same thing the next day; perhaps I should send him my blog?
Anyway, very powerful and thank you!

January 14, 2011 at 1:42 PM  
The Golden Eagle said, 

Wonderful post, Jules.

I'm sorry to hear about your day. Hope things get better for you.

January 14, 2011 at 2:32 PM  
floweringmama said, 

Hello, friend. I'm sorry to hear you had a stressful day. Stress can make us bitter or better. Hang on and don't let go.

Cathy @ Country Cathy

January 14, 2011 at 3:00 PM  
Clarissa Draper said, 

I think it's sad because this painful event might cause another painful event and so on. I wish there was a way to stop the pain.

January 14, 2011 at 4:53 PM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Whatever is troubling you , you will be in my thoughts,
You mentioned about the 9/11 flag I saw that on our news bulletin, 9/11 is not a good day for me 3 yrs before that unforgetable day in the US my husband passed away.
I hope our common thread will get stronger,
Take care/

January 14, 2011 at 5:01 PM  
Queen-Size funny bone said, 

Sometimes I think that people are in such a survival mode that they can only see what affects themselves.

January 14, 2011 at 6:17 PM  
Karen Walker said, 

Jules, sending you prayers and hugs. This is such a beautiful, compassionate and wise, loving post. Thank you for expressing so well what is in my heart as well.

January 14, 2011 at 6:35 PM  
The Words Crafter said, 

I don't know what's going on, but you're in my thoughts and prayers....

I totally agree about the common thread. I believe that some people are too insecure or too arrogant to accept/acknowledge that, underneath, we are all the same and we all deserve respect and compassion....

Great post.

January 15, 2011 at 12:40 AM  
kobico said, 

I hope that whatever you are going through, that you are getting through it okay.

January 15, 2011 at 1:44 AM  
~Nicole Ducleroir~ said, 

The events of late have been so sad. Your post is heartfelt and, for me, thought-provoking. Today with the kids I'm celebrating my husband's 10 year anniversary with his current company. The sun is shining and the temps are supposed to climb into the bearable range. I think today I'll concentrate my thoughts and energy on all the blessings in my life. Balance out the sadness. And if every person did that on a regular basis, I think the world would change for the best, one person at a time.

Have a great weekend :))

January 15, 2011 at 10:10 AM  
Summer Ross said, 

I have an award for you on my blog

January 15, 2011 at 12:08 PM  
Amie Kaufman said, 

It's always so hard to know what to think or say when things like this happen. You're right, though -- they can show us what we have in common, as well as what stands between us.

January 16, 2011 at 6:10 AM  
Tammy said, 

As horrible as those events were, empathy like yours and you mother's is in direct opposition to such evil. I like to think it's proof that good actually becomes stronger in times of turmoil. Also hoping that's true of your personal situation. Sending good thoughts.

January 16, 2011 at 12:42 PM  
N. R. Williams said, 

There is so much bad news and so many horrific images both real and imagined that I think people become numb. It is sad. We live in a nearly shell shocked society. Therefore, let us go out and awaken that which is good. That sounds like a quote, but I don't know who from.
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

January 16, 2011 at 12:56 PM  
Len said, 

My husband and I were shocked when we heard the news. I feel the same sadness, Jules.

January 16, 2011 at 3:11 PM  
Velvet Over Steel said, 

That funeral and flag on tv made me tear up too. I also kept thinking the same 2 things... how does a parent get over lossing a child (esp. a young child of 9 yrs) & I also kept thinking how I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for taking the child to the event. I heard/saw on the news, that woman's husband saying that she is having nightmares and calling/screaming out the little girls name. I feel so sorry for her! Just as sorry as I do the family of the little girls. It is so terribly, incredibly SAD!!!!

Wonderful Post & writing, Jules!!! Perfectly touching and beautiful!! Thank you!!


January 16, 2011 at 11:14 PM  
Karen Lange said, 

I like your thoughts about the common thread. Things go better when we seek even a sliver of common ground. Hang in there. :)
Blessings to you,

January 17, 2011 at 9:42 AM  
Theresa Milstein said, 

Thank you for sharing this post. It's all about what we have in common - a common thread - if we lose it, we unravel.

I can't imagine losing my child. I hope the mother who lost her girl can separate the grief from the guilt. How can anyone fault themselves for being at the wrong place at the wrong time? If we are supposed to protect our children from seeing public representatives, do we still have a working democracy?

January 17, 2011 at 2:21 PM  
Ellen aka Ella said, 

Touching post; I have lost a child, but not in this way. This is inhuman and so horrendous. I so agree with you, it is something one will carry with them forever. You never forget... It is and was so sad~

I hope you are okay; I have one sick chick,home with me, since Friday.

My thoughts n' prayers are with you~

January 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM  
Glynis said, 

Catching up on your posts. For some reason your link has not been showing on my list.

Anyway, I hope your troubles ease soon.

This was a lovely post. A tragic event though.

January 19, 2011 at 9:43 AM  
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