Newsflash: I Have a Newsflash

Thursday, January 20, 2011

EXTRA... EXTRA

We interrupt this regular schedule of posting for an important message.

My stress has been relieved and finally I can divulge the causes. I’m superstitious that way; don’t talk about things in fear of the proverbial jinx. Any who, I now can tell you. Wait, let me stop doing this happy dance and sit down so I can tell this story correctly.

Right before Christmas I had a routine physical and was informed further tests were needed. “No big deal,” I thought, “after all, the doctor seemed calm.” Last Thursday I went in for my additional tests. A nodule on my thyroid was not right.

Let’s cut to the chase. This nodule was 3 times larger than was acceptable, a simple ultra-sound was not enough. (Actually I was scheduled for two different ultra-sounds but we will get to that.) A fine needle aspiration was in order.

I was told the odds of benign, a-typical cell compaction and yes, the dreaded “C” word. Then I was informed that after the lidocaine stopped burning I would feel nothing, simple. 

Just the mention of the “C” word sent my small, deranged little mind into self-preservation mode. I do not know what made it go there but it did. The moment that needle went into my throat I heard a Star Trek dialog. Listen:

”Spock, what do you make of this nebula?”
”Captain, I’m not sure, it is just not logical.”
”Captain, it appears to be a life form, it is trying to communicate” states Uhura.
”Can you translate, Uhura?” Kirk asks, as if being a female enables her to translate everything.
”No sir.”
”Spock, launch a probe, let’s get up close and personal with this nebula.”
”Yes Captain, but allow me to point out, it may retaliate.”
”My God man, it is a living, breathing thing. You can’t just shot a probe into it.” Bones shouts appalled.
”Launch Mr. Spock, in fact, launch three probes.”

Do not ask me why but I now feel sympathy for nebulas. I can hear what Uhura could not translate, “Leave me alone, I’m nothing. Do not stick a probe in me only to wiggle and giggle it around just to satisfy your curiosity. I’m Benign.”

Do you understand my stress now? I can only acquaint my strange little nodule with a nebula. The unknown, in a faraway galaxy, thank heavens. As I told you though, I was scheduled for two different ultra-sounds.

The other I knew was more a routine test and not because of some strange nebula. This test I said, “No” to, why?

Because I felt my physician was on another dimensional plane when he ordered it in the first place. When I finally got up the nerve to call for the aspiration results I told him so too. 

”If your small office probe would not fit into that cavity, why on earth did you think a deep space nine size probe would?” After all I’d rather my doctor not think of me as some bold new frontier.


Thank you all so much for the kind words and the understanding. You guys are just the greatest!

We now return to your regular postings!

Peace…



35 comments:

welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Well done glad all is well. I have to have 6 monthly checks for abnormal cells on the cervix the dreaded "C" word sends me to into overdrive, imagination runs riot, no matter what I'm told .

I hope they get rid of the offending nodule.

Yvonne.

January 20, 2011 at 6:27 AM  
Flying high in the sky.... said, 

Thank GOD!!!! Hope you live a long long long healthy, peaceful and happy life!!!! God Bless!!

January 20, 2011 at 7:36 AM  
Gail said, 

I would say that is worth shouting about to the world!

Wonderful news...all that worry for nothing.

January 20, 2011 at 7:38 AM  
DL Hammons said, 

YES!!!!! *Fist pump* :)

January 20, 2011 at 8:11 AM  
Nezzy said, 

Oh great!!! God is good but I can soooo understand your stress. I'm thrilled everything turned out good for ya.

On the other hand ya told your story so well, ya totally had me spittin' green tea and rollin' here. Good thing it's only me and the cow's 'cause a livin' breathin' human being would think I was havin' a seizure!!! Heeeehehehe!

God bless ya sweetie and enjoy this glorious day!!! :o)

January 20, 2011 at 8:54 AM  
Summer Ross said, 

Jules- I'm so fairy glad everything is going to be okay with you. ((Hugs)) Its better to know then to not know. :)

January 20, 2011 at 9:27 AM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

And it's good news!!!
Your Star Trek dialogue had me rolling...

January 20, 2011 at 10:53 AM  
Martha said, 

must run in the family...i have had the privilege of the biopsy needle twice and get to visit the ultrasound office every 6 months...no fun though. Keep your sense of humor, you are great. martha

January 20, 2011 at 11:35 AM  
OJ Gonzalez-Cazares said, 

good to know you are good and dandy! long and happy life to ya!!

January 20, 2011 at 12:00 PM  
Midlife Jobhunter said, 

Glad that's over for you. Take good care now.

January 20, 2011 at 12:59 PM  
Aleta said, 

Oh my gosh. Stress city - you had me stressing for you just reading this story. I'm glad that you can write about it now and know it's over. Sending positive thoughts for you.

OH and loved the "conversation". I'm a Trekkie..

January 20, 2011 at 1:16 PM  
floweringmama said, 

Jules,
I'm so glad all is well. The surgery that I had prior to Christmas was something that kept me worrying until I got the results back.

Now I'm scheduled for another procedure that is disgusting and the prep is horrible and I get to spend two days of my spring break in March having this done.

I know you feel so relieved and your friends here understand. Really - we do.

Cathy @ Country Cathy

January 20, 2011 at 2:51 PM  
Tracy said, 

Jules, Thank you God for good health and strength and good friends who encourage us...I feel the same way the past week or so with all the wonderful friends like you who have supported me and given me postive words of encouragement.
I appreicate you and am so thankful that all is well!

January 20, 2011 at 3:32 PM  
Paula said, 

Cant tell you how happy I am as I am too too busy making happy dances. I am so relieved. Hugs and love

January 20, 2011 at 3:58 PM  
Corine said, 

Yeah! I'm so glad you're OK. PS ...loved the Trek dialogue! :D

January 20, 2011 at 5:35 PM  
Mary Vaughn said, 

I don't remember that episode. Are you sure it was Star Trek?
Only kidding. I'm so glad everything is okay.
"Deep space nine size probe" left me rolling.
Celebrate! Celebrate! (Pretend I sang that. Believe me, you don't want to hear the real thing.)

January 20, 2011 at 6:04 PM  
Queen-Size funny bone said, 

my MIL went through the same thing but she likes going to the dr. so she gets test after test. glad things turned out well. yeah

January 20, 2011 at 6:32 PM  
N. R. Williams said, 

After I read your last post I thought it might be the "C" word. Yes, I was concerned. I'm so glad everything worked out.

As for me...boy am I tired. This book blog thing is wonderful and exhausting all at the same time.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

January 20, 2011 at 7:20 PM  
Clarissa Draper said, 

Oh, I'm so happy that you are okay. You had me scared for awhile.
CD

January 20, 2011 at 7:56 PM  
Jemi Fraser said, 

SOOOOOOO glad everything is okay!! :)

January 20, 2011 at 9:02 PM  
Jilda said, 

doin the happy dance with you, the c word has been thrown in my direction more than once.....and my twenty year old niece had biopsies this week, but all is well, we happy danced too!
love and hugs, I am doing a gratitude ceremony Sunday night and will include gratitude for you my friend!

January 20, 2011 at 10:17 PM  
Arlee Bird said, 

Something like that can certainly create apprehension and stress. Good that you have kept a good sense of humor. Hope good health and upbeat mental state are with you for many years to come.

Lee
Tossing It Out

January 20, 2011 at 10:24 PM  
Velvet Over Steel said, 

Oh Jules, I had no idea! So sorry you had to go through all the stress. I've hade cancer and it is a very scary C word. So greatful that you are ok!!!

I also feel quilty.. I had a rough day and came over here because you Always cheer me up. I sure hope everyone Cheered you up tonight! You mean so much, to so many of us!!

Love you, Jules!!
Hugs,
Coreen xoxoxo

January 20, 2011 at 10:45 PM  
Wander to the Wayside said, 

I had to have a lump removed from my breast decades ago, when my daughter was about a year old, so I understand your stress! It was benign, but during the wait to have the surgery I went to the worse case scenerio, and I think that's only natural. Glad your nodules were benign, and hopefully your cortisol levels will subside soon!

January 20, 2011 at 11:27 PM  
Amie Kaufman said, 

What a relief! And I love the dialogue... can't believe you got me laughing on a topic like this...

January 21, 2011 at 7:05 AM  
Carol Riggs said, 

Gah! I really hear ya. I had a lump when I was 18, and had to have it aspirated. It felt like I was being choked. No fun. I had surgery after I graduated, and had it out. Yup, cancerous. But thyroid cancer is VERY slow growing, and it was encapsulated, so now I take daily thyroid and I've been fine for 30+ years. I never had chemo, either, thank goodness. :) Anyway, glad to hear of your good results, whew!

January 21, 2011 at 11:47 PM  
Life 101 said, 

Jules, I've been slammed for the last week and had gotten behind on my reading.
I'm really glad things turned out well for you.
I know that stuff is terrifying.
Rick

January 23, 2011 at 7:33 AM  
Tammy said, 

SO glad your rendezvous turned out to be with a B nebula rather than the C variety! No one wants to be launched into that scary trip, but glad you've been beamed home again, safe! And good for you for drawing the line on that other test. If there's a REASON to justify the probe, for sure! But without a reason, I feel like it's to get my insurance to pay for the the cool new equipment....

January 23, 2011 at 10:17 AM  
kobico said, 

Oh my, I have been away a long time -- I completely missed this whole thing. I'm glad the test results were favorable, Jules.

January 26, 2011 at 5:18 AM  
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