Wednesday, January 12, 2011
An elegant sort of being, Charlie sat alone. To Charlie presentation was the key. On his small frame, he wore a perfectly matching suit, trimmed and pressed in crisp lines, in which he sat with perfect posture. Charlie lived by the motto, “Speak when spoken to, and mind your own business.” Yet, with this entire perfectly elegant aura, Charlie was alone.
The bar door opened but Charlie did not notice. He did not see the total opposite sort of being now approaching his solitude.
Enter Sam. A total frantic sort of being that jumps at the chance to cause chaos. A rather large being that could care less about image, noses into any conversation and sooner rather than later over takes his immediate surroundings. Sam was a pushy sort of know-it-all, which in another life could be described as a bad dressed, used car salesman.
As the door closed, Sam fixated on the empty stool next to Charlie. With the speed of the caped crusader he headed straight for Charlie. A smile crossed his face as spied his victim and pushed the stool closer. Saddling up Sam was about to do, what Sam did best; cause chaos.
Charlie tried to ignore the unwanted company. He could not believe this frantic, un-kept, being had picked that stool. “Exactly why does he have to sit in my lap?” Charlie thought.
“What’s up bro?” the gruffly spoken voice questioned. Immediately followed by, “Share the nuts, dude.” Charlie just raised an eyebrow as if to warn the unwanted being, “you are too close.” Sam did not get the hint.
”Dude, the nuts are free, pass ’em. What’s up with the pressed threads?” All the while spinning and rocking on his seat as if his first stop should have been the facilities. Again, Charlie raised an eyebrow however, this time made certain of eye contact. Sam was slow.
Sam felt as if he had asked politely and started to reach across Charlie for the bar nuts. Charlie in turn, slapped his hand away. Sam was shocked, “Dude, you don’t own the nuts, what is your problem?”
Charlie could feel the tension in his neck and breathed deep before he responded. “Sir, there is an entire bar here and several additional nut dispensers up there, why don’t you move to another stool and I am not a Dude.”
“Man that starch has gone to your brain, you need to lighten up, enjoy the company and SHARE the nuts.”
Charlie could see the situation was hopeless, his solitude destroyed, decided to pay his bill and move on. He was reaching for his change when Sam struck again. “Dude, you leaving? Then I’m claiming dibs on the nuts.” and proceeded to again reach across Charlie.
That was the last straw. Charlie’s elegant nature left him. He waited for Sam to have the nut bowl in his hand before he launched his revenge. Just as Sam’s controlled the nut bowl,Charlie grabbed his arm and bit as hard as he could. Amazed at how good that felt he was not done. As he stood and walked past Sam’s stool….
he gave it a spin that slung nuts all over the floor. “I’m sharing the nuts, DUDE!”
Who are Charlie and Sam? The cardinal and squirrel I watched play this morning at the feeder. I just put another spin on backyard wildlife.
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