Friday, February 4, 2011
I first complete my post and commenting thing, and then I move on to the welcome home part. This is where I have to make decisions and preform several small educational lectures. Generally I start with a brief informative discussion with the house ghost.
I say, “Please let no food items or cooking utensils go missing this weekend. I do not have time to run to the store because you did not remember to buy pork-n-beans for your super bowl party, nor can you borrow my party tray. But, thank you very much for knocking everything down in the shower and waking me up. Be good, Ms. Twister is sort of afraid of you.”
”House do not break, leak, or burn out any receptacles over the weekend. Stay intact until Sunday night again. Everyone seemed to like your toilet story prompt so just save it up until I can write about it.”
I then find myself having to do the cleaning thing. Ms. Twister stays in nice motels during the week I must convert this artist attic/dog kennel into a home again. No longer can I pass the table and draw a “Kilroy was here” picture in the dust and laugh; I must dust it.
The aliens dust bunnies have to be evicted. I round them up and lure them in by telling them, “It’s new NASA plastic, jump in and take your seat.” Then I close the trash can lid and go search for the stow-a-ways. How do I know there are stow-a-ways?
Because my living room rug has a speed bump in it. Apparently when alien dust bunnies cannot handle their liquor they crawl under rugs. Looks like someone threw a great party and many of the guests could not handle it.
Now for my second educational talk. My furry companions have developed new behavioral traits in the past 4 weeks. I must sit them down and remind them of what day it is.
”Girls, its Friday; Shadow, Bamba, that is not a dog bed, you must return to your pillows on the floor.” These two assume since Ms. Twister is not using her king size bed, well it looked more like baby bears bed to them. It is not unusual to find these two laying on their backs, feet in the air, heads on a pillow, in her bed. This is why laundry is on my to-do list as well.
”Mouse, you will not suck your mother into that poor pitiful me; my mommy is leaving, syndrome again. It makes her feel bad.” Last weekend that is exactly what she did; like a kid pouting and trying to get their way.
The moment Ms. Twister left, mouse went crazy. She ran through the house, rolling and rubbing her back on the hall rug as if to say, “Whew, I can stop acting now, got anything to eat?”
As for me, I’m going to put away the artist attic and try to complete the rest of the clean house, do laundry, change sheets, mop floors and hope I succeed. If I do not make it, well that is where the, “Sorry about that” part comes in.
So let’s meet here again come Monday and compare notes. Besides I want to hear all about your favorite Super Bowl commercials.
Everyone have warm and safe Super Bowl weekend.