Friday, December 10, 2010
I started thinking, “what do I really want for Christmas?” I started a list, below is what I came up with. Hope I make someone’s shopping list.
My 2010 Christmas “Want” List:
- I want … to know Mr. Mayhem’s address. I need to send him an invitation to visit a few people.
- I want … amber alerts no loner be required and the system be converted to an “idiot driver” alert system.
- I want … a Bill Clinton chia pet. I promise not to inhale.
- I want … the world to be accepting, at least of freaks. Let’s call it “Freaky Love.”
- I want … a magnet hat for my lonely mop. I need it for those alien dust bunnies.
- I want … educated children that can count out change or my guilt to vanish so I can keep the extra cash.
- I want … one of those average moments that instantly turn special. Please no surprises with this one, give me a heads up.
- I want … children to understand violence begets violence. Let’s pray they find “Freaky Love.”
- I want … the BB gun Santa never brought. I will not put my eye out, promise.
- I want … the upper 10% to live as the lower 10% for a couple of months. Perhaps then the arguing over whom is more human would stop.
- I want … a phone app that calls the person in front of me and asks, “Is your refrigerator running?”
- I want … ear lifts. That skin toned tape which promises to lift my sagging ear lobes. Does it bust the warranty if I use them on other sagging parts?
- I want … a car that throws money at me. I can take a dime up my nose, come on show me what you got!
- And finally, I want … some millionaire to find my donate button while trying to rid their selves of a zero or two. Come on buy me a drink!
All kidding aside, my real wish for this Christmas…
Is that if you write, a printed million copies is not enough because Oprah just added you to her “must read” list. If you are an artist, the Louvre is bidding on your work and an anonymous bidder just drove up the price. If you are a crafter, Martha Stewart is green with envy and just offered you a huge deal to work for her.
However, if you are an average person like me, I want you to know and accept, we are anything but average.
We are special. The world may have taken our jobs, our security, and tied our helping hands but, it did not cut out our hearts. This is where Christmas truly lies; loving and caring, no money required.
I remind you in the bustle of the season, hand out kind words and smiles. Two gifts which are totally free, bring you joy and can make someones holiday!
Peace… and happy shopping!