I Spent My Christmas Wishing For Poop

Monday, December 27, 2010

So? Did you have a wonderful Christmas, get all you asked for? Maybe you received several items that immediately went to the “re-gift” box for next year. Either way Christmas has come and gone for another year, but wait let me tell you…

My 24 hours of Christmas was comical to say the least. Christmas day I spent home alone, remember Mom’s prerogative, enjoying time with my furry friends and once again shoveling Mother Nature’s dandruff. It really was a great time. Then late that evening the phone rings…

Ms. Twister. “Now don’t get upset because I already am but mouse has eaten a rawhide bone.”  To which I was totally confused and responded, “Why would I get upset and it is midnight!” “You don’t understand, she did not chew it, she swallowed it whole!”

Fragile Mouse
Oh yes, I love Christmas. All the vet could tell us, it being Christmas and midnight to boot, was if she throws up, bring her in. So my extended Christmas day was spent praying the dog would poop; funny how when you want them to they won’t. No way is Ms. Twister leaving her furry friend mouse, so how are we getting to Moms?

We call in dog sitters, give specific instructions on poop patrol and spend the day calling to check on the status of poop. No such luck. In the meantime Christmas in the holler is going on. Which consisted of way too much food and desserts that required a breathalyzer test before you could leave. Apparently Paula Dean recipes require you to be a lush to eat them.

Gifts were handed out, unwrapped and then the annual migration to the couch began parading by. I chatted with my two nieces and was informed a changing of the guard has taken place. It seems my status as the families “Black Sheep” has been replaced by them. Whew what a relief and oh to be 21 again.

Any who, heading back home my Grandmother just kept insisting we give the dog an enema. I don’t know about you but not something I want to learn how to do over the holidays. No, it is not really option either.

Poor mouse finally relieved herself late last night but to our dismay no rawhide. I’m praying the thing just got dissolved in her stomach. We remain on pooh watch. What a Christmas, now I'm scared of New Years. 

This week will be travel preparation for Ms. Twister. I will be getting her ready for her new job of traveling and educating myself on my new duties. I hope to post but remember I’ll be learning new things and it may tax my brain for a while.

I am hoping and praying all my east coast friends/followers are safe, please drop me a comment and let me know. And hey, what did you get for Christmas? I got wool socks and a crank lantern, no batteries required. Smile



Tracy said, 

Oh my goodness! NOT the thing you want to do on Christmas day! I certainly hope all turns out well...we had our cat one year eat the string of the turkey that ties him up and keeps the stuffing inside and oh my gosh, what a delimma!
Try to enjoy today as much as possible and keep us posted!

December 27, 2010 at 10:14 AM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Poor Mouse!
Okay here on the east coast. We have snow. I'm not out in it, so that's fine with me!

December 27, 2010 at 10:16 AM  
Teresa aka JW said, 

Wow! Kids and pets...whew! They're always up to something. I'm not on the east coast but it's freezing here in MO and a bit of snow..ee.


December 27, 2010 at 10:20 AM  
Mary Vaughn said, 

Except for shoveling, I'm snow watching from the front window.
Poor Mouse, poor you and obviously, poor poo (as in it didn't deposit the right gift).
New Year will be so much better :o)

December 27, 2010 at 10:24 AM  
Green Monkey said, 

Jules~ we got about 15 inches. Mylo the minipin crapped twice in the house (too much xmas ham) apparently he's afraid of the snow. So I got poo for christmas which, beats the hell out of the REI yoga socks and toed sandals that will be returned as soon as I shovel myself out!

December 27, 2010 at 11:05 AM  
N. R. Williams said, 

No money this year. So for my birthday, a week before Christmas I got a card. For Christmas we managed to make the children happy. That and a nice dinner, no gifts for anyone older than three. My grandchildren are being potty training, so they are comically obsessed with poop.

No snow in Denver still. Very rare. Lots in the mountains. The skiers are happy.
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

December 27, 2010 at 11:40 AM  
Liz Pezzuto said, 

Oh dear! Nothing worse than doggy eating something he shouldn't. We recently had a scare with a small river stone. Fortunately she threw it up... after 3 days of waiting and watching!

Hopefully Mouse is ok!

We got about 8-9 inches of snow. I think areas south and east of us got hit harder. The wind was howling all night, still is today.

December 27, 2010 at 12:23 PM  
Summer Ross said, 

Oh the poor puppy! My thoughts are with Mouse. Wool socks for Christmas, that must be really nice, I love warm socks and wool is warm. I got two new pens, and a special made stained glass fairy! Have a great week!

December 27, 2010 at 1:15 PM  
Olivia J. Herrell said, 

I'm still laughing at Green Monkey's comment. Jules, you have a comic, ironic voice that edges everything you write about.

I've been house/critter sitting for my sis-in-law since Wednesday and have had a grand old time. Of course, I had to drive home in a mini-blizzard in the dark last night instead of spending a cozy evening watching movies with my cousin. Because there was no way I could've relaxed knowing the two strays Coal Mine and Cap'n Jack were outside and Snuffles the Maltipoo was shivering in his cage in the garage.

Of course, I got home and they were perfectly fine, but hey. We do what we gotta do for the littles.

Relax. Pretend nothing's wrong with Mouse. She'll poop that think a lot faster if her mama is not wound up as tight as a golf ball.

We had a White Christmas, about 4 inches, but it hasn't been brutal here. Still made breakfast at one aunt's on Christmas Day and dinner at another's yesterday.

It's all good. The cold brings us closer together.

Happy HollyDays! that rebel, Olivia

December 27, 2010 at 1:23 PM  
Bossy Betty said, 

Hummm...now that's gotta hurt. I do not speak from personal experience, mind you. Hope it all, er, comes out OK.

December 27, 2010 at 1:35 PM  
The Golden Eagle said, 

I hope Mouse is all better soon!

December 27, 2010 at 1:38 PM  

oh I hope she's ok! keep us updated.

December 27, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
colbymarshall said, 

Uhoh! Hope the furry is better soon!

Got a new video camera. Have already begun putting it to good use ;-)

December 27, 2010 at 3:17 PM  
Paula said, 

Jules, your writing is hilarious. Hope Mouse is ok and nothing is gonna disturb your new years eve

December 27, 2010 at 6:36 PM  
Jemi Fraser said, 

Yikes! Hopefully Mouse is all better soon! :)

December 27, 2010 at 7:19 PM  
Vicki Rocho said, 

I just about choked thinking about giving a dog an enema. I almost want you to do it because I know something will go horribly wrong but it would probably be really funny for the rest of us....

December 27, 2010 at 7:31 PM  
Jeffrey Beesler said, 

My thoughts go out to Mouse. May she have a speedy and full recovery.

December 27, 2010 at 7:34 PM  
The Words Crafter said, 

aaaaaand this is why we didn't do a tree this year. We were sure Roo would eat something.

We got a little over 8 inches and I'm glad it stopped there! The wind was terrible-it's such a waste in the winter!

Hoping Mouse is fine. How in the world did she swallow it whole?!! Kind of impressive....

December 27, 2010 at 8:43 PM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Poor dog, hope all is well now.

Are you snowbound? looks ptetty bad in some parts of your country.
Today we have fog and rain but it is still cold.

Happy New Year, glad I made you smile on Face Book.

December 28, 2010 at 4:11 AM  
Carolyn Abiad said, 

Hope Mouse feels better! Rawhide is supposed to be edible, so maybe it did work itself out? Here's to a happy New Year! :)

December 28, 2010 at 12:18 PM  
Jo said, 

Dear Jules, I don't know whether to laugh or cry! That was a scream! But I'm so sorry for the poor dog and am hoping that poop arrives soon.

An odd wish, yes, but it needed to be said.

Raw hide -- yikes! My well intentioned Mom gave my old black Lab a small raw hide chew twist the previous Christmas, against our better judgement (but we thought: "What the hell, it's Christmas!"), and we came home later that night to find he had diarrhea all over the house.


Soooo unpleasant. So, we had the opposite issue, needless to say. Rawhide is really not good for their digestive systems from what we understand -- guess you and I learned that the hard way, eh?

So, that's it! No more raw hide for our old boy.

In other news my lovely, witty and funny rainbow sister, I wanted to THANK YOU sincerely for all your support and your kind, compassionate comments -- especially since I've been myself a bad and absent blog friend. Will aim to do better.

Your words brought me tremendous comfort and, I admit, RELIEF that someone else gets me.

It's good to be got.

Right back atcha and wishing you all that is beautiful this coming year and always -- many, many rainbows for you, dear girl!

Much love, peace, serenity and, of course, poop,

December 28, 2010 at 1:03 PM  

Hello! I was here, asking for friendship. ;) Would you like to follow each others blogs? Advance Happy New Year. :D

December 28, 2010 at 8:55 PM  
RosieC said, 

Oh, man! That sounds stressful. I hope Mouse is okay. Good luck with your new tasks, and I hope your New Years goes better and smoother (without Exlax) than your Christmas.

Sorry, that was kinda crude, but I couldn't help it.

December 28, 2010 at 11:12 PM  
Tammy said, 

I've cried my way through dog vomit at 3AM before...and the dog was fine. I was traumatized, however. Sending good wishes to you and your beloved little Mouse.

December 29, 2010 at 6:41 PM  
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