Veggie of the Year. Hey, Did You Get to Vote?

I received an email this morning that honestly has me contemplating what actually is in my salad? I’m sure it was sent as one of those funny, yet statistical attempts to brighten my day but it has left me somewhat perplexed.  What was in this email? Well the title read, “Cucumber; veggie of the year.” 

Yes, the cucumber. I did not know we could even cast a ballot for vegetable of the year; maybe I should network more? Any who; let me recap the reasons this green tubular should be vegetable of the year and why now I am so perplexed.


First we are provide with known tidbits like; cucumbers are full of vitamins, vitamins are a stimulus, it’s a healthy snack and you will never starve if you have a cucumber in your purse. This is where my perplexities began.

Did you know a cucumber would stop your bathroom mirror from fogging up? Oh yes this is true; simply take a cucumber to the shower with you, rub the slice on the mirror and poof, no fog. Well, I never…mental note: take purse to shower.

Don’t have time for a massage or facial you say? No fear; slice a cucumber, add to boiling water and smell the stress away. This claim has only been tested on mothers and college students. It said nothing about the rest of us stressed out, hormonal women, so what good is that?

A single slice can replace WD-40. Rub a slice of cucumber on the squeak and it is gone, hum? Wish I had known this fact while apartment living. I would have tired it on a few neighbors’ beds.

It is a cure for bad breath. However, when you actually encounter a person with bad breath are you really going to hand them the  cucumber in your purse? But that is your starvation supplies?

A slice of Cucumber can shine your shoes and then clean your sinks and faucets. So what cures the flies gathering on your feet? And now you’ll have to re-train your significant other to ask,” Honey, where’s the cucumber, the sink needs cleaning?” Like that will happen.

And finally there was the infomercial claim. Cucumbers cure cellulite. Yes, rub a cucumber on your perceived offending spot and the cellulite will disappear. Well, it actually says, “not be so visible” so isn’t that like the rear view mirror warning? But it works on wrinkles too. Really? I cannot tell for the cucumber seeds in my eyes.

I can only surmise this email will cause a cucumber shortage after all it is vegetable of the year. I on the other hand, do not want to become the old lady with a cucumber in her purse.  I don’t care how versatile they are; I’ll stick to Cobb salads.

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