Come on People, I Have Questions!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Have you got a minute? I told you I had some questions and I do. Being Friday I thought it a good time to ask, it will give you the weekend to solve these little nuisances of mine. Oh and there is music.

I’m calling all you totally awesome people out there to chime in. Let me know, do you ever think like this or have encountered these. Don’t be shy, no one reads this in Washington, D.C.

Do you remember the toilet bowl man? Well if you do, can you tell me; do you report his wages on a 1099 and does he fall under the Obama healthcare coverage? Seems mine is complaining about his working environment and I want to make sure I have achieved my legal obligations.

Have you ever noticed a regular bag and a supersize bag of chips seem to have the same amount of chips? I think these are sold on the old concept of, “Size does matter” but the amount of chips does not, what do you think?

Did you know bugs and children are in cahoots? Children catch and nourish their jar kept friends in exchange for the bugs eating their parent’s vegetable plants. This partnership I now have exposed, how do we fix it?

Why do people put potted flowers on graves and then never come back to care of them? Don’t you think dead flowers on a grave are a bit of an over kill?

And why is it a dog’s fur can soak up oil to save the gulf but cannot soak up soap and water to save my sheets?

Does anyone know how to catch a Neanderthal groundhog? It seems I have rented the ground beneath my shed to one and need to evict him before he has another “G-hog party neath the shed!” The neighbors are complaining about the loud music and the nude g-hogs cutting through their yards.

My final question is really an idea. Why can we not all get together, connect our water hoses and pump the flood waters from all the swollen rivers to Arizona and New Mexico? It seems logical to me that if we can pipe oil from Alaska we can pump water from the Mississippi and Missouri rivers.

Now tell me, can you help a girl out? These questions are weighing heavy on my mind. Don’t make me wait all weekend, offer up some suggestions.

I have to run my tidy bowl man has called in OSHA, I’m out of chips, the groundhog just rang the bell asking for aspirin and I have to find an extra garden hose.

My song to you for the weekend!

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May your weekend be sunny and unquestionable.


Larri @ Seams Inspired said, 

It's too early. I have no pithy comeback for your hilarious post. Thanks for the giggle! Happy Friday! :o)

June 10, 2011 at 8:47 AM  

I'm still trying to figure out why sour cream has an expiration date. Somebody please help me.

June 10, 2011 at 9:35 AM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

Now there's some
enjoyed the post very much.

Thanks for the visit and comment, it was a black squirrel as the driver of the bus said they were quite common there, as for the Wedding Hall in the hotel they were preparing the room for a wedding that day.......not mine I hasten to add.

Enjoy the week-end.

June 10, 2011 at 10:21 AM  
Bossy Betty said, 

Yikes, woman! You do have questions. Now I have many of the same ones!

June 10, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
N. R. Williams said, 

The toilet bowl man sadly ended his life with a flush when he found out how much back taxes he owed.

The bigger bag makes it easier for the delivery guy to crush the chips.

Introduce the kids to gardening. They can have all the canning jars to catch the bugs. need love too.

No idea on the doggy fur dilemma.

Hmm...a Neanderthal groundhog. A curious show I saw said that Big Foot might be a living Neanderthal and not an ape. Maybe Big Foot could solve your problem? You could pay him in berries.

Good idea. Now I imagine a team of black hawks flying over the Mississippi and Missouri rivers with giant barrels attacked to their life saving lines, collecting water while that opera song (I don't know the name to) is playing over loud speakers. That would be a Hollywood blockbuster! I vote for you.

Funny, email this to Congress.
N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

June 10, 2011 at 10:26 AM  
GigglesandGuns said, 

Sorry, Kid! I'm still picturing naked groundhogs with hangovers and adjusting to overkill at the cemetery.
(ooo workable title there.)

Happy weekend:)

June 10, 2011 at 10:45 AM  
KarenG said, 

Your questions just got me going on a whole bunch of my own. Like why does my $1000 new oven work like garbage while the old one it replaced was awesome, even as it was dying?

June 10, 2011 at 11:41 AM  
Elle Strauss said, 

lol--those questions will take some thinking, but you do have a good point about the water.

June 10, 2011 at 12:18 PM  
Summer Ross said, 

Yikes- some tough questions- I'm not sure about toilet bowl man or the groundhog, if it were so easy to just hook all our hoses together to get water where it needed to be- it might have already been done

Have a wonderful weekend Jules

June 10, 2011 at 1:13 PM  
Blasphemous Aesthete said, 

Most of them are quite witty and well, a dog needs his delight and also his revenge. Does it like bathing? I don't think so. Will of a dog I guess.

Nice post.

Blasphemous Aesthete

June 10, 2011 at 1:27 PM  
Alex J. Cavanaugh said, 

Dead flowers on graves - kind of ironic, don't you think?

June 10, 2011 at 2:06 PM  
li said, 

I guess the snack industry is trying to reduce obesity by putting less in the bag? And you do get extra air, so I guess they have to charge more for that. :( As for the groundhogs, I hate to say it my neck of the woods, groundhogs make good eatin'.

June 10, 2011 at 2:21 PM  
Shopgirl said, 

Haha thanks for the laugh. The chips people have a conspiracy and you've found them out indeed.

June 10, 2011 at 3:33 PM  
The Golden Eagle said, 

Good idea! And good point--if we can pump and transport oil all over the world, it seems like we should be able to do it with plain old water.

June 10, 2011 at 4:16 PM  
Paula said, 

Jules, my dear, I am sorry I wont be of assistance as this foreigner still try to solve a language problem herself. Why do people use the expression 'near miss' when it actually is a 'near hit'????????? Love, Paula

June 10, 2011 at 5:42 PM  
Tammy said, 

Each one's funnier than the next. Thanks for getting my weekend off to such a hilarious start!

June 10, 2011 at 9:58 PM  
Theresa Milstein said, 

The redundancy of dead potted flowers on a grave - too funny and true.

I think all packaging is a sham, like with potato chips. Every time I buy a container of coffee from the supermarket, there's less coffee in it though the container is the same size. When I was a kid, 16 oz were in that can! Now it's 10.5. But the prices have gone UP.

June 11, 2011 at 7:48 AM  
Teresa aka Journaling Woman said, 

Very funny these mind boggling questions. I'll do some research and get back to you in a year?

June 11, 2011 at 8:28 AM  
Flying high in the sky.... said, 

i kept smiling.. i very very strongly agree with you about pumping water like we pipe oil!! loved the idea... about others .. geographical discrepancies render me helpless in understanding the issues really and give my inputs!!

June 11, 2011 at 9:50 AM  
Velvet Over Steel said, 

SO TRUE... why can't they pump water OUT of the flooded areas like they pump/send oil wherever they want? You always have such Great questions & I loved all of these & really needed the laughs; not to mention the new flood topic to tomorrow!! ;-)

Have a GREAT new week, Jules!!
Big Hug,
Coreen XO

June 12, 2011 at 10:42 PM  
Jayne said, 

LOL- my daughter was just tellng me what a racket the bigger bags were. It's the same amount of chips! I think there might even be less. I say we start a "small bag only" movement.
And have you seen how small the Dove ice cream bars are lately? Meh. They play us for fools, don't they?
Too funny, Jules.
(Good luck with that groundhog!)

June 12, 2011 at 10:48 PM  
floweringmama said, 

Oh boy! You are definitely on a roll aren't you? Hope your weekend was a good one!

June 12, 2011 at 11:45 PM  
Kathie @ Like A Box Of Chocolates said, 

somehow I missed this post on my dashboard! :-(

hope you had a good weekend!

June 13, 2011 at 6:44 AM  
welcome to my world of poetry said, 

I commented on this one Jules, but any in the beginning of last week I didn't as I was travelling home then had jet lag.


June 13, 2011 at 7:03 AM  
Theresa Milstein said, 

I just read my comment. Boy do I sound old!

Just popping over to say hi. Hi!

June 14, 2011 at 12:47 PM  
Tracy said, 

Golly Gee Jules, thank God I'm reading this with no children in my room or I'd be overwhelmed. Perhaps becuase I am brain tired by this 'back to work' thing but I truly can't find an answer to your enormous questions. In fact I have one of my own...why is it that when you get to the last of your deoderant, the stick breaks and you waste a good 4-6 applications because it falls on the floor and of course gets dog hair all over it and then you're disgusted by it all and just toss it; why?
...just thought I'd ask while questions were swirling in the air...
I hope you are doing've been quiet!

June 14, 2011 at 1:29 PM  
Karen Lange said, 

Very clever! I love the way you think, such great angles and perspective on things. :)

I think you may have something with the water thing - surely there is something that can be done. As for the other stuff, will have to think about it some. :)

June 15, 2011 at 10:39 AM  
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