Friday, May 6, 2011
Hey, do you have Kentucky Derby memories? Do you have plans for Mother’s Day? What a dilemma for Kentucky children.
I thought about sharing my Kentucky Derby memories and following with a special mother’s day post. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized, I don’t have that many derby memories.
I have never been to the derby and honestly have no desire to go. To get tickets is like trying to go to the superbowl and the infield, well it is just dangerous. I have always chosen to attend derby parties with friends.
My derby memories are simple. I won a lot on one horse, “Goforgin” and as to derby parties, I remember lunch and not much else, except for… my one and only mint julep.
While attending a fancy derby party I ordered and was handed the traditional derby concoction. I looked down and instantly became confused. Do I drink it or mow it?
A mint julep is suppose to be bourbon, simple syrup, ice and a sprig of mint; I received the mint plant with a splash of the other three. Needless to say the barkeep was having as good a time as I was and I never forget that julep.
My mother on the other hand has given me a lifetime of memories. I realize too, as you read the list below some of her wisdom will be lost because well… you weren’t there. But I want my mom to remember and have a good laugh on her special day.
My Mother taught me… the more I ironed the more allowance I got. As an adult I love no-iron shirts.
My Mother taught me… even an ordinary oven can become a pet incubator. Talk about awkward; try explaining to a neighbor why your new born puppies are in the oven.
My Mother taught me… recipes are for wimps. If it does not taste right, “Doctor it.”
My Mother taught me… deafness to bigotry, color blindness to skin tone and to speak only the truth; my dad taught me the right hook.
My Mother taught me… to fear a spatula. Yes, kitchen utensils can instill fear but not as much as the belt that came home with dad.
My Mother taught me… never leave a chocolate cake unattended when you have a pet groundhog.
My Mother taught me… drunks are harmless when you unleash 5 small children on them.
My Mother taught me… bubble gum, when chewed fast enough by your children, can repair a leaky foundation.
My mother taught me… if you continuously leave the price tag on gifts, eventually it becomes your “From” label.
My Mother taught me… basic first-aid can transcend species. She once saved a birthing cow with only full arm plastic gloves and a bucket of ice cubes. (Don’t ask, this is a short story all to it’s self) Let me just say, we survived the machine gun attack.
Mom, (Yes, she reads this) I love you and our memories. The smiles you provided throughout our childhood has made us forever your smiling gift to the world. I will be always be proud of that fact.
Happy Mother’s Day!!
Peace people, call your mom!
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