Kentucky Fights Back
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Has crime escalated in your part of the world? Stealing seems to have become a new pastime here and I am quite proud my fellow Kentuckians are not taking it lying down.
With the state of the world being what it is people, I can only presume, are doing what they feel necessary to survive. I’m being polite here but a few of these folks have felt the Kentucky sting.
Take the gentleman who chose home invasion as his necessity. He selected a single woman’s home thinking it easy pickings, he must have been from out of state. Everyone knows we Kentucky women have and use firearms, somewhere out there is a man with a flesh wound, a limp and is still broke. The police are having trouble finding him because, quite frankly, there are a lot of men in Kentucky with flesh wounds and a limps.
Then we have the couple who chose purse stealing as their way up. They selected an elderly lady in Wal-Mart as their target and snatched her purse. She chased them down, took her purse back and then tongued lashed them all the way out of Wal-Mart. The cops are looking for a vehicle pulled over with the driver sitting and writing, “I will not steal” over and over again.
Finally, the copper thefts have gotten so bad they have spurred a new business, cage construction to protect your air conditioning unit. I on the other hand have taken the MacGyver approach.
My air conditioning unit lost it’s disconnect about a year ago, I left it that way. For those non-electrical people out there, this means it is straight wired and hot, the wiring not the unit. So for me finding the thieves will be easy.
They will either be lying in my driveway as if hit with a huge taser or I’m explaining to the police, “you are looking for a curly haired dude with smoking fingers and uncontrollable twitches.”
In short we Kentuckians do take the law into our own hands; we don’t shoot to kill, merely to maim and our tongues will give you a beating, not to mention we love traps.
Peace…
With the state of the world being what it is people, I can only presume, are doing what they feel necessary to survive. I’m being polite here but a few of these folks have felt the Kentucky sting.
Take the gentleman who chose home invasion as his necessity. He selected a single woman’s home thinking it easy pickings, he must have been from out of state. Everyone knows we Kentucky women have and use firearms, somewhere out there is a man with a flesh wound, a limp and is still broke. The police are having trouble finding him because, quite frankly, there are a lot of men in Kentucky with flesh wounds and a limps.
Then we have the couple who chose purse stealing as their way up. They selected an elderly lady in Wal-Mart as their target and snatched her purse. She chased them down, took her purse back and then tongued lashed them all the way out of Wal-Mart. The cops are looking for a vehicle pulled over with the driver sitting and writing, “I will not steal” over and over again.
Finally, the copper thefts have gotten so bad they have spurred a new business, cage construction to protect your air conditioning unit. I on the other hand have taken the MacGyver approach.
My air conditioning unit lost it’s disconnect about a year ago, I left it that way. For those non-electrical people out there, this means it is straight wired and hot, the wiring not the unit. So for me finding the thieves will be easy.
They will either be lying in my driveway as if hit with a huge taser or I’m explaining to the police, “you are looking for a curly haired dude with smoking fingers and uncontrollable twitches.”
In short we Kentuckians do take the law into our own hands; we don’t shoot to kill, merely to maim and our tongues will give you a beating, not to mention we love traps.
Peace…
16 comments:
I feel like we're living in the same place. I'm in Southern Ohio(whee Appalachia) so we might be neighborish. But there's one main difference I see here: My daddy always told us, "If you're going to shoot someone, shoot to kill."
Disclaimer: I have never shot anyone. I think maybe he's seen one too many slasher flicks where you have to kill the bad guy ... a lot ... before it actually takes.
I do not like lynch justice at all, whether one shoots for killing or for wounding. No Kentucky derby for me then just to dangerous ground...
I have no sympathy for thieves, so let whatever happens to them happen. I got a good chuckle out of your last line. Thanks for the imagery.
I seeing the old Neil Diamond song a little differently, I must say.
So how ave you rigged your doorknobs? Do visitors make a shocking entrance?
I had to laugh about the fresh wounds and limps. As a single woman living alone, I couldn't help but cheer that lady on. Good for her!
You zap someone with your AC unit, I want photos!
Reminds me of the sting op where police sent letters to people with outstanding warrants telling them they'd won a prize and where to collect it. *Giggle* At least a dozen showed up. They'd won free accomodations and meals at the lock-up, of course.
There has been escalating crime around here; there was an armed robbery down the street recently.
Now there's a strategy for stopping thieves. :)
when I was 13 I shoplifted clothing. Luckily I got caught and that ended my life of crime. Now, I can't even taste a grape at a grocery store. I do however, sometimes suspect that people think I'm capable of steeling (paranoid) as though they can see into my sorted past. Just the other day, I was out shopping with Miss Pegged and as we exited the store the alarm went off. I broke out in a sweat. We both opened our handbags. I went a step too far and dumped all my contents on the ground. Apparently, my iphone receiving a text as we were walking out the door triggered it. (might turn this into a blog post). BACK TO YOU.... stay mindful, stay safe my friend.
I am so paranoid I hide my Powerbook every time I leave the house. I'm afraid of nimble handed (and small) gypsies. LOL
So demoralizing. I live in a city, so it's always in the back of my mind there's more crime than in other places.
The air conditioner thing sounds logical...this way you don't have to buy a taser. And I love the MacGyver approach, btw. Just seems like the best way all around.
Did you hear about the purse snatcher at my local Walmart? About a month or so ago someone snatched an elderly woman's purse and took off on 64. Another shopper pursued the thief and got the license plate and other info and the police nabbed the guy soon after. Talk about doing your good deed for the day.
Happy weekend! :)
MacGyver and I had a thing over a sewing machine, just last week, lol.
I love the strength of the people in your state! Amazing~
Entertaining post! I've heard "Don't mess with Texas," but it sounds like Texas should not mess with Kentucky!
You have such a talent for being hysterically funny and wise at the same time! Hard times sure bring out our true selves.
Awesome!!! Great people standing up for and taking care of the!! Love your state!! ;-)
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