Technology: You Had Your Laugh

Who is it exactly that design the electrical connections to all our gadgets? I swear I think they have some warped sense of humor that requires them to sit in some dark cubicle somewhere thinking, “how many awkward positions will it require to get to this connected?” 

I started the day with my PC having its monthly hissy fit and requiring me to give it some TLC before it would even look at me. I proceeded with the usual sweet talk and patting (kicking) its engine but that got me nowhere. Oh no; it wanted me to open its case, pull a card, stand on my head and all the while keeping my foot in the blue circle before it would boot up. Thankfully, I live with someone who’s nickname is Twister so I was not that out of practice. But that was just this beginning.

After completing my online checking of I’m still human status, I thought I would pick up the house. The PC gave the house a heads up; the dishwasher decided it did not want its door shut, I could hear it say, “Beg me.”  Again, standing on my head, with my foot now in the yellow circle, I replaced the silverware tray, jiggled the closure handle and politely put my other foot in its face and ta-da, door closed. I was sending the message right now, “not today!”

I left for just a short errand only to return to an ambush. The PC and the dishwasher had hatched a scheme while I was out and they got the TV to join in. Upon returning I took my furry friends out for quick bit of sunshine and was returning to enjoy an afternoon of opening NCAA games when they launched their attack.

As I sat down and flipped on the set all I got was “this channel will be available soon;” which never came to be.  I phoned the cable company and got the usual “power down” message, of which I tried three times before I decided this was not the problem. I thought I heard the dishwasher snickering as I redialed the cable company.

After giving every bit of personal information I had except my bra size I finally got a real human; I know I heard the dishwasher laughing. I explained the situation and was told a real person would be here soon. I decided to not wait and disconnect the cable box; this is when the PC shouted, “Attack!” To reach the cable connection on the TV I must keep both feet in a green circle, one hand on a yellow circle and be upside down doing it. This is when I shouted, “Forget it, I’m a veteran twister player;” this was when I achieved success. Cable box detached and cable reattached to the TV, just as the cable guy pulled in my driveway.

Of course he had to reattach the cable box to see for himself and wouldn’t you know it, it worked fine.  We exchanged pleasantries and away he went. As I entered the living room I know, I just know, I heard the sound of joyous electronic laughter in the background. Okay, okay, you won but I still have my NCAA games. Deep breath, deep breath.

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